Wednesday, November 19, 2008

WTF Wednesday!


I've got another one that seems to be a recurring idea here on my blog..

As you may or may not know, my wife and I are trying to get pregnant.

I've had the vasectomy and the reversal. My count is low, so we're going to have to deal with artificial means to get that way.

However, before we can do that, we've got to make sure that my wife is ovulating first.

The way to do that? Give her drugs, of course!

Now, she's been going on some SERIOUS mood swings.. Hot, cold, up, down, sideways lately..

Not only that, but because they weren't working properly, they then DOUBLED the dosage!

Now? They've got to get her consistent.

Last month? No ovulation.

This month? She was early.. by 10 days.

And each month costs me another $20 for 5 pills..

The problem I've got here is this:

These pills make her irritable, grumpy, and really difficult to be around. I mean, most days I'm walking on eggshells just to be on the safe side!

Now, the idea behind these pills is that she'll ovulate, and that will assist in getting her pregnant.

That's great. I applaud this.

However, one of the ideas to getting pregnant is to HAVE SEX, right?

I mean, that's supposed to be a PERK of all of this, isn't it?

Yet with the anger, frustration and emotions, NOTHING happens.

Woo. Freaking. Hoo.

Not only that, but then I get these kind of responses from her as well:

"With what we're going through, I don't think we should have kids right now!"

"I can't see you as the parent of my child"

"You certainly don't act like a father"

Do you see a dilemma here?

How is it that these "miracle" drugs that are supposed to help us reach her goal of becoming a mother are completely tearing us apart?

Do the doctors who prescribe these drugs actually look at the mental aspects of these drugs before writing the prescription for them?

Tell you what: Next time I see that doc, I'm going to have him give his wife the same pills for six months, and see how happy HE is with his wife a raging hormonal monster..

I mean, seriously here..

How happy can a marriage be when someone is completely unstable?

Now, I LOVE.. and I _do_ mean LOVE my wife. She's a wonderful woman, and I'm the luckiest man to have earned her love and affection.

But these past few months while she's been on these pills has been a literal HELL for me.

My biggest fear right now is this:

Once she gets pregnant, and has this baby (babies), is my "old" wife going to come back to me, or am I going to end up with a different person?

I don't know.

I'm just really REALLY worried about the post-partum depression stuff too..

Is THAT going to be magnified because of these drugs as well?

Dear God, I hope not!

So my WTF is this:

They give a drug so you can get pregnant, IE have sex.

Yet because of the drug, she can't stand you, so you don't have sex.

How exactly is this promoting anything??

That's like offering a diet pill to help you eat less.

However, because you take the pill, you'll want to drink more water, and retain it.

So you stop eating, but you're still gaining weight because you can't get rid of the water gain.

Same difference, just a new body area!

Sometimes, I really hate pharmecuticals....


Bee said...

You know, when I’m PMSing I am a mondo ├╝ber beeyotch! But I recognize it when I’m having a lull. Is there a time you can speak to your wife where she’ll be able to understand what it’s doing to your relationship? My husband and I decided not to have kids because we can’t agree on some major life issues so I know I’d rather have him than some unknown little baby. I know that sounds cruel but I guess that would be another reason why we don’t have kids. I lack the mothering gene.

gottaluvme3 said...

Hon...if you wanna have sex all you have to do is ask!! lol...It is kind of hard though when I am not home when you go to bed....I will work harder on that. Also sucks that we are kind of on different sleep schedules! About the hormones...I think I have done well the last couple of months. A little cranky this last week, but at least I didnt ask you to move out!??! LOVE YOU!

just a girl... said...

Swappy Swap Time!

AirmanMom said...

Hang in there!

~AirmanMom returning to her blog...

Another Suburban Mom said...

I actually went back on Birth Control Pills after Hubmans Snipping because apparently, some of us do not manage our hormone levels well.

I can only imagine that the pills, combined with the frustration of not getting pregnant, plus the self doubt of 'why' can't I get pregnant and possibly wondering if her inability to get pregnant is God's way of telling her she would be a horrible mother could also be making her edgy.

I know that it took 6 months after going off the pill to create each child. Lets just say that after month 3 of no success, I became a tad difficult and mean. I also wondered if it meant that someone knew I would be a bad mother and was denying me children for that reason.

I would suggest checking with the doc or googling your town and fertility support group and find some people who are also struggling to speak with.