I just don't get it.. I really don't.

Ok. Time for this guy to complain again about the fairer (most of the time) sex.

There are too many things about ladies that I appreciate. Sights, sounds, smells, talks, looks, feelings, etc.

Yet there are a couple of things that REALLY tend to set me off.

One of these really bothered me this weekend, and true to form, I'm gonna blog about it.

I can't stand the wishy-washy double standards.

I'll give you an example:

I've got some guy friends. We LOVE to hang out and kill time. One friend of mine especially likes to sit around and play video games with me. If I didn't know better, I'd say that he's wired just about like I am.

Now, my wife has been teasing me this last weekend about how I haven't been calling my friends to just go and "hang out". Each time I've called, it's been to ask for help with something around the house here.

I can recall her picking on me just a few months ago about how I need to call these guys to come help me with things around the house, instead of calling them to go run off and play.

Now. Is it one, or the other?

Why can't I do both?

I mean, there are times where I need the extra hands with work around the house. So I give a buddy a call, and we get it done.

There are also those times when I'd really like to get away from it all, and have a bit of "playtime". Then I'd give a buddy a call, and we'd say "screw it" to responsibility, and just play around for a short while.

However, my bent lately has been for fixing things up around the house.

Is this a bad thing? I don't think so.

My wife and I have been looking into refinancing our mortgage, because we could potentially save an extra 7-8 HUNDRED dollars a month in payments.

However, in order to re-fi, you need to have an assessor come and check out the house.

I don't know about you all, but there are TONS of half-done jobs around my place.

The reason behind this?

Well, one, I'm a bit ADD when it comes to home repair and remodel stuff, and I can't stay on task for very long before wanting to move to a different project.

Two, we'll get into a job, and run out of parts or pieces, and forget to buy more for a while. Then, it starts to look "normal", and we tend to overlook that half-done appearance.

So, I've been a bit of an ass. I nag about needing this thing, or that, just to focus on getting ONE JOB at a time done.

I've got the checklist, and I've been marking down when I'm able to complete a job.

Patch holes in the walls? Check.

Install new door for the new bedroom addition? Check.

Cut trim for new door? Check.

Cut trim for French door we installed last year? Check.

Replace sliding glass door? Check.

Cut and lay floor molding? Um, in process. Big job, ugly angles, and off-center house make this job a bit more difficult than it should be.

Paint? NO.

My wife told me she'd take care of the painting. I informed her that I wasn't going to finish the floor trim until the painting was done, so that there would be one less hassle to deal with. She agreed, and now I get to wait for her to get HER butt in gear.

Replace all windows on the house? Check. Still trying to find a couple of pesky leaks, though. I might have taken care of this yesterday, but we'll definitely find out the next time it rains!

Put up blinds in all bedroom windows? Check. I even re-strung the blinds that were too long, because I wasn't willing to wait for my wife to do these like she'd claim.

So, my last major project is the floor moldings. However, I'm not able to do one room because of all the junk in the room itself. Each time I make mention of this, something gets ADDED to the clutter, instead of getting CLEARED OUT.

Maybe I should try reverse psychology, and compliment her on the empty room?

I dunno.

I do know that her deadline of getting the entire house trimmed by Wednesday is a pipe dream. She's wanting to impress the visitors we're going to have over when she hosts her Bunco party.

These same folks were here a couple months ago when there wasn't much on the walls but paint, and she didn't bat an eye. Now? The only thing missing is floor trim, and I get demands about needing it all done right away!

I don't get it.

Our house is quite old, and it's also three stories tall. The main problem with this is the major weight-bearing wall that runs the length of our house. It rises the full three stories, and is a main wall for our bedroom, my daughter's bedroom, and a computer room/office area we've got. But I've noticed in all the remodel and repair work that I've done on the house that it's this wall that is causing our house to settle weirdly.

It's a BIG wall. Because of it's size, it's settled, but the location of the wall is near the center of the house, and it has caused the house to settle inward towards the wall.

I can tell, because of the lines around the house when measuring.

This wall is off about a quarter of an inch. That one isn't quite square. The door jamb isn't quite centered...

These things don't seem very bad, until you're the one trying to fix the small unslightly blemishes to make the house look better.

The wall isn't square? How is that going to be a problem?

Well, the corner you decided to put the bathroom vanity in isn't square, so the sink insert you've got now sits weirdly, and won't stay in place. How do I fix that? Caulk, caulk, and more caulk! If I can hide the gaps, maybe someone won't notice!

Windows are levelled when installed, but now you can see from the outside that they don't match the level of the trimwork around the house.

Um, I can't really _do_ anything about this one. The trimwork is the original trim, and it follows the exterior of the house. As I've said, the house is settling, and for the windows to be installed correctly, they are now out of square with the rest of the house. There's really nothing I can do right now to fix this.

I'm NOT going to pay the extra cash to have someone come out, jack up my foundation, and put cracks into the walls I've just spent the last couple of months fixing.. At least not until I'm ready to sell this place and move somewhere else!

Well, I think I'm done for now.

Like I'd said before, we have our disagreements, and when we do, I tend to air my feelings here. She knows this, and has come to grudgingly accept it.

This is one of those times. I kind of know what I'd like to have done, but I just can't get everyone else into the same boat.

Wanna buy a house? I could make you a great deal....

Happy Birthday to M.... Meh. I've got bitching to do!

Yeah, it's my birthday, but that's not what I want to write about, so here's my rant!


This last weekend, I got unloaded on for things to do around the house.

Normally, I don't mind much, because I kinda like working on the house, and getting things done and improved.

However, this weekend wasn't like most that involve home projects.

Last week, my wife decided that because of the falling interest rates we needed to refinance the house, and see about consolidating all of our debt. I was in agreement, and she went to the bank.

However, in order for this process to go through, a new assessment of our house needs to be done in order to get a proper value of the home before basing the payments.

Now, we've done a TON of work to this house. However, there aren't many projects that have been completed. Yeah, you know how this works...

First, you start a project, and you get the big stuff done. After seeing the major change, you think "I'll come back to this later, and put the finishing touches on it, because there are other jobs that need to get done now" type of thing.

Exactly.

Now, I have to be honest. I'm great at putting things off that I don't want to do. I can find all sorts of reasons NOT to do a job. But there have also been times when I have noticed a "hanging" job, and commented that we need to get the stuff so I can finish it as well... Those have been the times when my wife has been willing to put it off.

Not so this weekend.

We made a trip out to Lowe's, and I watched my next month's worth of weekends get tossed out in favor of doing the "finishing touches" on all of the projects we've neglected.

My father-in-law was with us, and he made some kind of snide comment to my wife about how she wasn't going to be able to get out of helping with the jobs.

She replied to him "This is guy's work. I don't have to help. I do the woman's jobs around the house, this one is his responsibility."

Yeah. That's stuck with me and been REALLY irritating this weekend.

I have tried to keep any kind of sexism from this relationship. I've been more than willing to let her have her space and time alone, and I've been willing to do the jobs that need to be done around the house.

After the comment I got this weekend?

Not so much.

Here's why:

Define "man's work" and "women's work" for me.

If you're going to tell me that a woman's work is stuff around the house, then she owes me a TON of time doing some "man's work" because I've filled in when she hasn't pulled her weight. Dishes? Laundry? Vacuuming? Dusting? Cleaning?

I'd define all of the above as "woman's work" since they're jobs inside of the house, wouldn't you?

As for "man's work".. Fixing, repairing, yardwork.. Isn't that considered "my" stuff to do?

She's not helped much at all with my "man" jobs compared to the things I've helped her with. Yet I've decided now to bitch about them...

Here's the catch, and why I was good with things until she opened her mouth.

"Woman's work" is things that need to be done daily. There's not some weekly plan you can get into action that is going to effectively take care of all of the household chores that need to be completed. Thus, I pitch in and help where needed. I mean, I don't really like sitting around on my ass all day, and if I can help her in the process, then it's a win-win situation for me, right?

With the "man's work", it's weekly stuff. Yardwork. Cut the grass. Trim the hedges, rake the gravel back onto the drive.. That doesn't need to be done daily, and can wait to be done. Repairs aren't frequent, and they do take time when they need to get done, but they in no way really balance out for the daily house chores.

Yet if this is how she's going to treat my work on the house, I'm willing to be an ass, and give her exactly what she called for.

Case in point:

I did the last load of dishes that were in the sink, and then put them in the dishwasher yesterday. Last night, I made dinner, and I left the dirty dishes in the sink. After all, dishes are "women's work", and since I'm doing "man's work" she needs to come home and get caught up!

Yeah, she worked last night, and I could have done them. But since I am going to be working for 10 hours today, and then coming home to start more repair work, I think the account balance here is fairly even.


Here's another thing that annoys me about our Home Improvement.

I can't do all of the jobs. I don't know how to install doors, re-wire electrical outlets, do plumbing, or major changes to a house exterior.

However, she has friends who do.

The worst part about this? I WANT to learn how to do these things. Yet when she gets friends over to help get a job done (such as installing a door) I tend to feel like a fifth wheel, and keep getting in the way. The person helping gets frustrated because they just want to get someone else's job done so they can get back to THEIR work, and everyone gets a bit on edge...

Never a happy moment there, to be honest.

So, I've got some projects lined up to be done. How they're going to get done is beyond me at the moment, but they'll get done.

I'm sure I'll be back on in later days to complain about something or other with this newest repair gig, so keep reading!

Happy Tuesday everyone.