I'm in the wrong!

As some of you may or may not know, I moonlight as a DJ so that I can bring in extra cash, and help meet some of my weekly expenses.

This time, I was the MC for a wedding.

I don't know about you, but with the stuff that I'm going through I'm finding it difficult to find happiness in someone else's joy. I mean, usually when I'm doing these kind of things, I recall happy memories, and I'm able to at least enjoy myself to a degree while technically working as the "sound guy".

Today was something a bit different.

I listened to the message while these two young people were wed. Taking the words to heart, I've come to realize that I've seriously wronged my wife, and I'm here to try to apologize and somehow figure out a way to make amends.

First off, I've taken her for granted. I've assumed that she's there to take care of the kids when I'm not home. I've assumed that she'll do the housework that needs to be done. I've assumed that she'll take care of everything, and I'll do what I remember to do (most of the time) and everything will be fine.

This is the first of many mistakes I've made. I need to be there and be doing just as much as she had been doing. I needed to step up and take charge of the kids. I needed to be there and do work around the house when I've seen that it needed to be done. I need to be more accountable for the things, large and small, that go hand in hand with living with a family.

Secondly, I've failed to keep the marriage thriving. I haven't kept the romance kindled. I haven't made her feel like the cherished person that she is. I've assumed that she knows it, but I've never really DONE anything to SHOW her. I haven't made her feel loved, wanted, pursued.. I needed to do all these things and more, and yet I haven't.

Lastly, I've failed to communicate effectively with her. Nearly each and every discussion we had led to some kind of defensive action on either her or my part. We were never able to talk and just listen to the other. Communication is so vital to a marriage, and with that vitality missing, it's really no wonder that it's basically dying right before my very eyes.

I've come to realize all of this, yet somehow it seems like too little, too late. Why is it that some of the most important lessons you learn tend to be AFTER you need it?

I've still got a sliver of an opportunity, but the outcome of that chance isn't in my control, so I don't know if this insight is really going to matter or not. However, it's a lesson that I'm taking to heart, if only to be able to pass on this knowledge to my own sons as they get old enough to find brides of their own.

Love your spouse. Cherish them. TALK with them. Make them feel needed and adored. Make time to spend with them.. Do this, and the marriage has much better odds of overcoming adversity as it comes. Let them slide, and you'll end up where I'm at.

Do me a favor, and work on the marriage.. You don't want to be in my shoes.

Something totally random!

Well, these last couple of days I've been basically stranded.

Here in the Northwest, we're really not used to too much snow. However, this last week I've gotten about 2 feet of the powdery white stuff!

Thanks to the greenness of our road-keeping crews, I have absolutely no way of getting out of my driveway, let alone through town or even south down the interstate to my work.

Now, this doesn't stop my wife, who drives the testosterone-charged SUV with all-wheel drive.

It does put a crimp in my driving habits, though. I can't get around very well in a small compact car who sips gas through a straw. It just doesn't happen.

Yeah, I sacrificed the power and prestige for the pocketbook. Sue me.

Anyway, I've been slacking at posting because of the weather, and I honestly apologize.

I'll make sure to get to work on Tuesday, and you can all chew me out then, and give me all sorts of crap!!

Not to think that you won't give me some kind of grief today about it, but heck, if I'm getting comments, it can't be a BAD thing!

WTF Wednesday

Gah. I'm so humiliated right now, I can't even express it really.

I have to offer my apologies to Bee at Bee's Musings for my royal screw-up of her "Secret Santa can Suck it!" gift exchange.

Apparently, I shouldn't attempt to operate machinery, or blog!, while exhausted.

Last night, thinking that I was going to be pro-active, and do something ahead of schedule instead of flying by the seat of my pants, and just pulling ideas and excuses out of thin air, I decided to complete my project, and post it.

Much to my dismay, once I'd posted, then informed my recipient, I sent an email to Bee letting her know about my overachieving-ness, and prepared to bask in the knowledge that I'd finally done something ahead of schedule, and appropriately.

Oh no.

Not this duck.

You see, the whole idea of this was to post everything on Thursday, and BEE was supposed to be the person to inform your recipient of the gifts they were to receive.

So, not only did I cut out Bee's part in the game, but I also blew the whole "secret santa" aspect of the exchange as well.

One good thing did come out of it. My recipient liked what she saw.. (I think, either that, or she was just being polite so she could get the heck out of my trailer-park blog.. One of those feels true!)

Anyway, here's my promise to Bee that I'll follow orders next time, and if need be, I'll make sure to come up with something completely random the day it's due instead of blowing the rules, and screwing the entire operation up.

You can trust me on this one. I'm great when it comes to procrastination!