Thoughts..

Have you ever wondered how guys and gals can have a relationship, and NOT want to chop the other's head off at some point?



I mean, when you think about it, everything about a male and a female is diametrically opposed to the other.



Guys communicate more by doing than talking. We show our support by providing. We do things, and let our actions dictate our feelings.



Women? They talk. They talk about anything, and they talk about EVERYTHING. They talk about their hair, their clothes, their kids, their dreams, their job, their sex life, their therapist, yadda, yadda, yadda..



Granted, this is a generalization, and there are exceptions to this, but they are damned few and far between.



Let's talk about clothes!



For men, dressing up means wearing the jeans that DON'T have holes in them, a clean t-shirt with no witty sayings on it, and sneakers. Button-down shirt? Nah. Slacks? No way, this is a PARTY we're going to, not work! Loafers or Patent leather shoes? Only if the patent leather shines enough that we could possibly sneak a peek up a dress or skirt!



For ladies? Yeah, get two or three outfits out, ask the man his opinion, then ignore his suggestion, and wear what you were planning on wearing anyway. Then spend the next TWO HOURS applying makeup, hairspray, mousse, foundation, eyeliner, lipstick, mascara, hair curlers, hair straightener, perfume, etc. on. By the time you're done, the guy's gotta go wash his face, because he fell asleep in the easy chair, and has drool on the side of his face!



Shoes? For ladies, it's an addiction. What pair would look good with which outfit? Does this match the color of my eyes or handbag? Do they help to show off my pedicure and polish on my toenails?



For guys.. As long as they're comfortable, and we can wear the heck out of them, one or two pairs will do, thank you.



Food:



Yeah, I'm going there!



Girls, you totally confuse us on this one.



Let's start at the beginning. When a guy and girl date for the first time, she'll eat like a bird, hardly touch anything, and talk his ear off the entire time. He'll order what he usually would, and enjoy it. She'll take her leftovers home, and let them rot in the fridge, because she didn't really want the dish she ordered, but she doesn't want to seem ungrateful for the date.



Next, after getting to know each other better, a change happens. She'll actually start eating. However, this doesn't keep her from talking the entire time. So not only do us guys get to eat our food, but we get to see how yours looks too. The guy keeps up with the same thing. Order what you would normally, and try to keep the food pieces that could possibly fly from her mouth from landing on your plate.



Then they become an "item" or even get married. Then you find out this lady does something you never even considered: She eats ALL THE TIME. not big sit-down meals, but she's constantly snacking. Crackers here, a rice cake there, breakfast, a snack bar, a small doughnut, lunch, a candy bar, some Wheat Thins, a diet bar, Dinner, some ice cream, maybe a small slice of pie, a bag of popkorn.



It boggles the mind.



Shopping.



When I shop, I plan on what I'm going to get, know where I'm going, get in, get the stuff, and get out. Job done.



Girls?



Browse. Look over the price of this or that, this would look nice. Let's see what's in this store. I know we don't need anything here, but it would be nice to plan on a time when we might, so let's go in here and see what they've got. Try this on. Try that. What do you think that would look like in "x" room? Ad Nauseum. Can you tell that I HATE shopping? No? I'll tell you then. I HATE SHOPPING.



Yet for all of this, we are somehow able to look past this, and find someone that seems to match us. Our compliment. The other half of our being. The one who can finish your sentance before you even know you're talking about it. The Yin for your Yang.



I don't know how it happens, and I don't know WHY it happens. Yet the thing I find the most humorous about it all is this one simple fact:



The person we come to join with is one who you'd NEVER expect to deal with. They do each and every thing that you don't do, and yet somehow, instead of this being some kind of annoyance, it is something that you wind up cherishing that person for.

The same exact behavior that your brother does that can send you completely over the edge is something that you boast about to your friends because your wife did it..

The stuff that seems to melt your eyeballs to hear about is the stuff that you love when your girlfriend does it...

Nothing's as cute or as adorable when that significant other is at work. They could do something you've sworn you'd never deal with, and it becomes passable..

What is it about these unchecked emotions we've got that makes us more tolerant?

If we were to ever be able to harness the power of an emotion, then I'm sure quite a few of the "world problems" we've got going today would be taken care of.

The wars that we fight would cease, since we could promote tolerance for religious and racial differences.

The political arena would be less of a mess, since we'd be more tolerant of deciet and broken trust issues.

Wages would increase, and the cost of living would decrease, because we'd be wanting to help support and provide for each and every person we came into contact with...

The only real problem I have is that we'd also be wanting to screw each and every face we saw..

For some, that's not considered a "bad" thing.

For me, I'm just too old now to really enjoy it!

Have a great week, and a happy Mother's Day (early) for my lady readers!

Things that are bothering me..

Have you ever felt like even though you're married, you're just "playing house"?

I mean, you have a solid relationship, yet the passion and little things just aren't there. You're kind of running off a set script of things that "all married folks are supposed to do" and there's just no spontinaety or passion in the relationship just don't seem to be there. The spark seems to have died?

Yeah. Me too.

But I refuse to give up.

I love this person I'm with. I adore her, actually.

Not only that, but I made her a promise, and I'm going to stick to it.

You all might have heard it a couple of times before. You know the one I'm talking about..

"For better, for worse. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health. As long as we both shall live."

Yeah. That promise.

Sure, there are times where it seems like all we're really dealing with is the worse, and we wonder where the heck the better went to. Sometimes richer seems so far off, and we're stuck with the poorer. Some of us are stuck in the sickness part, and wonder if any health is on the way.

Yet I've got to be stubborn.

I made this woman a promise. Not only that, but I also told this to her parents, my parents, her friends, and my friends as well.

What kind of man could I consider myself if things got tough, and I just decided to quit?

What kind of father could I consider myself if I can't set an example for my boys about making commitments, and then not follow through on them?

What kind of example would I be giving my daughter if I were to jump from wife to wife? What kind of self-esteem issues will that make for her in her later years when she potentially decides to marry? Is she going to think that she's as expendable as the women I married?

Maybe I'm just not willing to see the big picture. Maybe in some way I'm being an egotistical bastard, and I'm not giving a damn about someone else's feelings.

However, I still have to be true to myself.

And the truth is that I love this person, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep my promises and vows.

My hope is that each and every one of you feels the same way, and can possibly share this with your significant other or spouse.

The greatest gift each human being posesses is the ability to love. Don't squander it.

I'll talk with you all next week.

Personal Viewpoints!

Today I'm going to try to express some of the thoughts and feelings I get, and see if you get these as well.

I never really claimed to be an excellent wordsmith. I know there are folks out there who can take a phrase, and make it completely meaningful to the person reading. I'm not one of them.

I'm just going to try to describe the scene, and the look, and maybe some of my readers will join in with comments, and give their opinions as to scenes and looks that really touch them as well.

OK. Here goes!

Each and every evening when I pull up to the house, I am greeted by the sight of my yellow Labrador named Sassy looking out the glass panes of my french doors for some sign of me. I don't know how she's able to tell what time it is, or how she even knows that I'm headed home, but the excitement she gives off really brightens my day. Her growling welcome and excited yips, the way she wags her tail so hard that her backside nearly knocks her over, the impatient prancing of her paws, and the deep sigh of contentment once she gets a good scratch behind her ears... Unquestioned love and devotion.

The bright look in my daughter's eyes each night as I go to tuck her into bed. We'll talk about the day she's had, and what her plans are for the next day. We'll maybe sing a soft little song, or tease each other about some silly thing we remember. The snuggle deep into her fluffy blankets, and the cuddle of a stuffed teddy bear. The tight squeeze of a hug, and the gentle smack of a kiss goodnight. These are the sights and sounds of safety and security in a scary world.

The happy sounds of my kids at play in the yard. The rumble and thump of clothes tumbing in the washing machine or dryer. The sound of running water in the bathroom. The drone of a TV show. The clink of dishes being washed in the dishwasher. The rustle of grass needing to be cut. These are all sounds of a home being lived in.

The open and waiting arms of my wife to give me a hug when I see her. The soft conversations over how the day went, and what happened. The sweet kisses and gentle squeeze of a happy hand. The shining eyes over some small gift or surprise. The laughter over a joke or funny accident. The contented sigh as we curl up to watch TV on the couch together. The proud beaming as we are complimented on the behavior of our kids. The excitement of a small trip to go play in the snow. The gentle laughter of a game of "Sorry". The cozy warmth of a shared mug of cocoa. These are the times when I feel love the most.

Tell me what gets you. What memories evoke special feeling for you?

Letters From War.

I had the chance to listen to this song after posting my last experience from being in the service, and I have to be honest, it got me a bit misty-eyed.

The artist is Mark Schultz, and it's off his album Stories and Songs. I don't have any way to embed the song on my page just yet, but once I get the chance, I'm going to do it.

But, since I can't let you hear the song, I can still write down the lyrics, and hope that you get a chance to listen to it at some point.

Here's the song:

She ran to the mailbox on that bright summer's day.
Found a letter from her son in a war far away.
He spoke of the weather, and of friends he had made
Said "I've been thinkin' 'bout Dad and the life he had and that's why I'm here today"
Then at the end he said "You know what I'm fighting for"
It was the first of his Letters From War

She started writing:
You are good, and you're brave
What a father that you'll be someday
Make it home, make it safe
She wrote every night as she prayed..

Late in December, a day she'll not forget
Oh, her tears stained the paper with every word that she read
It said "I was up on a hill, I was out there alone
When the shots all rang out, the bombs were exploding
That's when I saw him, he came back for me
And though he was captured, the man set me free
And that man was your son..
He asked me to write you, I told him I would, oh I swore."
It was the last of his Letters From War

And she prayed he was living, she kept on believing
And she wrote every night just to say

You are good, and you're brave
What a father that you'l be someday
Make it home, make it safe
And still she kept writing each day..

And then two years later, Autumn leaves all around
A car pulled in the driveway, and she fell to the ground
And out stepped a Captain where her boy used to stand
He said "Mom, I'm following orders
I got all your letters, and I've come home again"

He ran in to hold her
He dropped all his bags on the floor
Holding all of her Letters From War


I hope this touches you all as much as it hit home to me.

Hopefully one day they'll all come home!

Finding the Oxymorons in this trail we call Life...

Ok, as you all might have been reading, the marriage my wife and I have has been quite rocky as of late.

For one, we're trying to have another child, but with me fresh from Vas Reversal, and she having problems with ovulation.. Well, it just doesn't quite TICK.

So, the doctors came up with a GREAT solution.

She's on Clomid.

Now, I know that there are a couple of folks out there who know that this drug is one of those that women take to become "extra fertile" and get that chance at the joy of their life.. Multiple births.

However, there are some side effects that I finally got my doctor to admit to, and it made EVERYTHING that has gone on these last few months just seem to fall into place.

Want to know what the biggest side effect is?

DEPRESSION.

That's right. DEPRESSION.

So, let me paint this picture for you...

As a woman, there are things that they desire. Romance, the chase, being pursued, and the conquest.

HOWEVER.. If you're on this drug, and you're depressed? All you're wanting is that raggedly full-length cotton nightie and a blanket, wrap up on the couch, and watch sappy love stories and Discovery Chnnel's documentaries from the OB unit!

So, take the drug to get pregnant, but kill the sex drive in the woman. Sounds like a match to me!

But thanks to the ingenuity of science, you no longer need to "do the act" in order to get that way!

Just have the fine, upstanding man leave his "donation" in a cup at the lab, and they'll do the rest!

No fuss, not much mess, and if the stars are in the right position, everything's good!

Oh, did I mention that the docs claim that these symptoms go away after she gets pregnant?

That's a good thing, considering how RAGING those hormones get when they ARE pregnant!

I could just imagine how great life would be if she was on the drug and then also going through post partum! Ye gods, that would be true bliss..

Anyway, Now that we know what's causing the problem, maybe there's a way for us to work around the issue until such time as there's no need to the drug..

We'll see, and I'll keep you all posted!

Today, I'm going to talk about some stuff I haven't aired yet.

Last night, the wife and I got a chance to really sit down and talk.

No crying, no overfed emotions, just real talk.

So I was thinking.. Last time I'd posted about us, I'd talked about all of the things that she's done for me.

What have I given her in this marriage? For all she's done for me, what have I given in return besides headaches and heartache?

I don't know, and that's what honestly scares me.

Am I going to leave a lasting impression as a needy soul with nothing to give, but willing to take everything given to me?

I'd like to think that I'm able to make some kind of impression or impact on those I've come to be with. I just hope the impression is a good one.

Well, this is a short post, but I've got to keep this real, and say exactly how I feel.

You all have a great weekend, and thanks so much for the words of comfort and wisdom you've given me these past couple of weeks!

I'll be writing more this next Tuesday!