Friday, September 5, 2008

The Friday Bitch session


First off, since I'm new to the blogging scene, I'm going to warn you that Fridays seem to be the one time of the week when everything that can go wrong at my work DOES.

Not only that, but every single person in the place seems to be able to find my last nerve, and chew it to pieces.

Maybe it's because of the stress of the week, maybe it's my manopause, maybe I'm just hormonal, or tempermental, or maybe I internalize things too much..


I just hate dumb-assed co-workers.

Let's see what's set me off this week...

AH! Number one on by bitch list:

Have you ever had the joy of working with a supervisor who insists on acting like a spoiled child with nothing better to do than make your life a living hell?

I have. He works in a department that I have to visit often, and he makes sure to try to piss me off at least 10 times a day. (yes, I've kept track. it's averaging about 11, but he does hit the 10 mark quite often)

The best one yet was the one he pulled that got ME in trouble..

I'll tell you the story, and see what you think.

My day started by getting called to his desk to "fix" an issue with his email. Turns out that the only thing wrong with it was that Captain Oblivious somehow forgot what his password was, and couldn't get into the program. Easy fix. I enter with my superuser account, reset the password to the default, and everything's good. Well, it should have been. Until he calls again in 5 minutes to say that his email STILL isn't working. I go back, open the email, enter the default password, and VOILA! There's his email. "That's not MY password!" he screams at me.. Yes. SCREAMS. "You need to fix that, and make it my old password, or we're going to have some issues.. Understand?"

Now, I'm a pretty laid-back kind of guy. But when someone raises their voice to me, and tells me that I'm not doing my job correctly, I get pissy.. FAST.

However, I surprised myself by just nodding, changing his password, and getting out of his office in 5 minutes (possibly less). Needless to say, I went to my office, found something breakable, and proceeded to demolish it to teeny tiny pieces for a while.

About an hour later I got a call to return to that area for a audit of a shipment being sent out.

Now, I work in a distribution center, and it's freaking HUGE. The building itself is nearly 1 million square feet of storage space, and the dock in question happens to sit right outside my office. The problem with this is that I'm the only IT guy in the building, so I tend to be on the move most of the time. Usually when I get these kind of calls, I'm stuck on the complete OPPOSITE end of the building, and it takes a while to get back to where I am supposed to be. This was the exact case in this circumstance. I was on the South side of the building fixing a mounted scanner when the call came in for me to do my audit.

I returned the call, and informed the super that as soon as I was done (about 2 minutes) that I would be there next. 5 minutes later, I'm at the dock, and I'm in process of starting my audit when he comes by, grabs my upper arm, walks me over to the wall, and proceeds to chew me out over not being there more quickly. Apparently my priorities aren't in the right place, and I need to readjust my focus on what is really important in this building.

Now. I'm still at a slow boil from the last chewing I got, so this one got my temper bubbling. I got really close to him, and told him that if he had a problem with my work, he could take it up with the General Manager, and the three of us could have a nice, little talk. Until that time, he needed to back off, and let me get my work done. I then turned my back on him, and continued with my work.

The point of all this is coming.. don't get impatient with me!

Now I'll explain a little more before I finish. My audit consists of tearing down pallets of product being sent to the store. I break down the pallet, verify that the correct stuff is going to the store, and then make sure it's loaded onto the truck trailer for delivery.

This is where the camel's back got broken.

I found a pallet that was NOT supposed to be for the store I was auditing. Genious #2 had put the pallet in with the wrong store, and hadn't bothered to check what correct trailer it was supposed to be going to. Not only that, but the pallet was so badly built that it looked more like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and not a pallet of product!

I, in my infinite wisdom, decided that I would have to at least break the pallet down into two pallets (to keep it from falling over), and then also put said pallets into the correct trailer.

As I'm doing this, my favorite super decides to come by and repeat EXACTLY what I told you I was going to do with the pallet.

Not trusting myself to speak, I nodded, and kept about my work. I sent one of the loaders over to find out what trailer the pallets needed to go to, and kept working. The loader came back, informed me about where it needed to go, and we finished divvying up the pallet. It was at this time that Mr. Wonderful came back. In his infinite grace and tact, he stood there, hands on hips, and asked me "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Moving these two pallets to the correct trailer. They don't belong to this store."

Mr. Wonderful: "Do I have to show you how to do your job, or are you going to actually start working?"

Me: "No, I'm fine thanks. Just getting this done so that I can finish the audit."

Mr. Fantastic: "You're such a child. This should have been done a LONG time ago. You and I need to have a talk!"

Captain Fantastic then throws his clipboard and papers to the floor, storms over, pushes me out of the way, and proceeds to move TWO boxes before saying that the pallets are done, and they need to be moved to the correct trailer.

Me? I've had enough.

"Excuse me, but next time you think I need to be told how to do my job, you can fuck off!" I politely yell at Captain Wonderful.

"Don't raise your voice at me," Warns the lovely super. "You don't want to go there"

I step close, nearly nose to nose, and menacingly growl "Don't treat me like a fucking idiot, and we'll be fine. Next time you feel like I need to be told what to do, keep your opinion to yourself."

Captain Wonderful steps back, glares at me, the bends over, picks up his clipbaord and papers, and leaves the trailer.

Now, I'm not stupid. I know for a fact that he's now on his way to tattle about how mean and evil I am. Because of this, I pull out the "Cover your ass" manual, and report what happened to my Supervisor.

"Nothing to worry about" my manager assures me. "You were provoked, so there's nothing he can do to you. There were witnesses, and his behavior is unacceptable. Just finish your work, and ignore him."

Reassured by this, I go back, and finish my work. I even manage to avoid the wonderful super for the rest of the day.

Fast forward to yesterday.

I get a call from my manager asking me to come to his office. I walk in, and Captain Brave is there, along with the Human Resources manager (complete bitch with no clue what happens in the building) and my manager.

Little Miss "My stuff don't stink, because you all love me" tells me to sit.

"I hope you realize that what you did yesterday could cost you your job" she tells me.

"What's that? Telling someone to behave like someone in management instead of daycare?" I ask innocently. (this gets me a really great glare from The Captain)

"That was uncalled for. You're awfully insubordinate to the managers here." She tells me sweetly.

"Not really," I reply. "I just seem to have problems with one of you, and he's standing right over there." I point to Ratman. "I mean, you'd think that if I really had insubordination problems it wouldn't be just one person, I'd at least rant and rave at two or three of you. My problem comes from the fact that this one here thinks that I can't do my job unless he's there to not only hold my hand, but tell me exactly what steps to take, and then proceeds to throw temper tantrums if things aren't done his way." I inform her.

"Don't change the subject here" she tells me. "This is about you respecting those in authority over you. Asswipe (name changed to protect the prick) here has been put in a position of authority, and you must follow his instructions and respect his decisions."

"How can I respect someone who belittles me, and thinks that he's the only one with a brain?" I exclaim. "How can I respect someone who throws temper tantrums at work, yells at associates, threatens folks, and basically makes this place a shitty work environment? The answer is that I can't, and I won't." I tell her.

"I'm sorry you feel that way" she answers. "Because of this, we're putting in your record a notice of insubordination. You'll be on thin ice for the next six months. Please don't do anything to aggravate this, or you could very well lose your job."

She and Asswipe then leave. My steadfast manager waits for the door to close, then hands me the papers to sign. I look over at him, he refuses to make eye contact.

"I was right in what I did, and I'm not going to apologize for my conduct" I tell him.

"Don't make this worse" he tells me. "Just do what they ask, and in six months, you can tell him to fuck off again"

I grin a bit, but I shake my head. "This one's going to wait for a couple of weeks. I know that the corporate folks are going to be here soon, and I want them to look this over before I "admit" to anything."

My manager blinks, then a slight smile crosses his face. "I think you've got a great idea there" he says.

What do you think??

Should I take asswipe to the mats?

Should I just give over, let it slide, and then keep all this aggression over six months and let fly again once the heat's down?

Or should I tell them all to kiss my balls, and find a better place to work?(Not that I'll seriously leave before I've gotten work, but I might listen to some interesting ideas!)

Speak up, let me know what you think, and I'll be back Tuesday with another rant and rave from the paradise that is my workplace!

No comments: