Today I'm going to just talk about something that's been on my mind since I really started this blog.
I mean, most of my posts have been about my relationship, and the things that bother me, or what I've needed to do, or what she's done to upset me, etc, etc..
So with this in mind, for the next couple of weeks I'm going to talk about some serious stuff, and see what you all think.
If you have questions, and want me to do some research and look things up, feel free to mention it in the comments, and I'll do what I can to answer it.
With that being said, here's today's topic.
How to impress a girl:
Smile at her
Listen to her
Laugh with her
Cry with her
Believe in her
Pray with her
Pray FOR her
Cuddle with her
Shop with her
Give her gifts
Send her flowers
Hold her hand
Write love letters
Go to the ends of the earth
How to impress a guy:
Show up naked
Don’t block the TV.
Amazing, isn’t it?
The difference in relationships between a guy and girl is so diverse, there are times that I seriously wonder if we’ll ever get it right.
I mean, yeah. I stole this whole thing off one of my prank T-shirts at home, but it still speaks volumes about how men and women perceive relationships.
Take another shining example of my T-shirt wisdom:
10 Things men know about women:
10. Women have boobs
Yeah, I know it’s crude humor, but doesn’t this tend to reinforce the assumptions we all have about what guys look for, and what completely frustrates women who are still looking for “Mr. Right”?
I went to a seminar a few years back about couples and relationships. To be honest, I wasn’t sure that I was going to take anything back with me that would help me understand this alien that I’d decided I was completely head over heels in love with. But one of the analogies that I heard that weekend has stuck with me over the years, and I still get a chuckle from it.
It goes like this:
Sex to men is like needing water to drink. The human body needs water. It CRAVES water.
The keepers of this life-giving water that men so dearly crave is kept by the well-watching women in their lives. They’ve got the water, so why would they need anything more?
So men do just about anything in order to get the water they so desperately crave. They do “nice things”, they buy gifts, they put on a show, some buy water, some beg for water, but as stated above, ALL MEN ARE THIRSTY.
How is it that they’re able to get a drink from time to time?
That can only be explained by the well watchers, and they’re not talking….
I don’t fully agree with the last part of that statement, even though there are times when it feels true.
However, the key here is humorous, and it’s also quite serious as well.
Yeah, men LOVE sex. If you don’t believe me, then just check out the ratio of porn usage between men and women. Men are gratified just by SEEING sex, let alone experiencing sex.
Women, on the other hand, love to be pursued. To them, the game isn’t how fast a man can get into their pants as much as it’s how far you’re willing to go to prove your interest in them as a person. Can you interest her mind, gain her attention with humor, or impress her with your knowledge of arcane facts and trivia? These are all factors for the lady. Gain her attention, get her mind working, and you’re well on your way to a good relationship with her.
Sure, girls like physical stimulation as well, but it’s not the driving force for them like it is for men. Granted, this is statistics talking, and there are generalizations here, but a far greater percentage of women would prefer a long night of serious heart-to-heart talks over one night of mad sex. Being able to emotionally connect with their partner is something that most women only read about in cheesy romance novels. It’s tantalizing to think about, but stuff like that never really happens in real life, does it?
I say it can.
Now, I don’t think it’ll happen overnight. I’m not saying that it’s something you’re going to have happen on the first date, or your wedding day, or even on a 10th anniversary. But I really do believe that it can happen. The key to this is patience and communication.
Men have to be receptive to the wants and desires of the women in their lives. This doesn’t mean that you listen to them, and then interpret their desires as something you might like to do, and this will make them happy. No, just because you’re wanting sex does not mean that when she tells you she’s feeling lonely that you need an hour-long intimate lovemaking session. She’s telling you that this is something that is leaving her emotionally cut off from you, and it’s making her feel abandoned, and lonely. Sex isn’t going to fix this. We as men need to open our ears and minds and listen to the wants and needs communicated by these wonderful creatures, and hear what they’re really trying to say.
Women speak about feelings, emotions, just about anything they can think of..
Men? Well, we tend to speak about physical stuff, and cold, hard facts.
How do we break down the communication barrier?
That’s up to the two of you to decide.
I’ll talk more about ideas for this next week.