Have you ever wondered how guys and gals can have a relationship, and NOT want to chop the other's head off at some point?
I mean, when you think about it, everything about a male and a female is diametrically opposed to the other.
Guys communicate more by doing than talking. We show our support by providing. We do things, and let our actions dictate our feelings.
Women? They talk. They talk about anything, and they talk about EVERYTHING. They talk about their hair, their clothes, their kids, their dreams, their job, their sex life, their therapist, yadda, yadda, yadda..
Granted, this is a generalization, and there are exceptions to this, but they are damned few and far between.
Let's talk about clothes!
For men, dressing up means wearing the jeans that DON'T have holes in them, a clean t-shirt with no witty sayings on it, and sneakers. Button-down shirt? Nah. Slacks? No way, this is a PARTY we're going to, not work! Loafers or Patent leather shoes? Only if the patent leather shines enough that we could possibly sneak a peek up a dress or skirt!
For ladies? Yeah, get two or three outfits out, ask the man his opinion, then ignore his suggestion, and wear what you were planning on wearing anyway. Then spend the next TWO HOURS applying makeup, hairspray, mousse, foundation, eyeliner, lipstick, mascara, hair curlers, hair straightener, perfume, etc. on. By the time you're done, the guy's gotta go wash his face, because he fell asleep in the easy chair, and has drool on the side of his face!
Shoes? For ladies, it's an addiction. What pair would look good with which outfit? Does this match the color of my eyes or handbag? Do they help to show off my pedicure and polish on my toenails?
For guys.. As long as they're comfortable, and we can wear the heck out of them, one or two pairs will do, thank you.
Yeah, I'm going there!
Girls, you totally confuse us on this one.
Let's start at the beginning. When a guy and girl date for the first time, she'll eat like a bird, hardly touch anything, and talk his ear off the entire time. He'll order what he usually would, and enjoy it. She'll take her leftovers home, and let them rot in the fridge, because she didn't really want the dish she ordered, but she doesn't want to seem ungrateful for the date.
Next, after getting to know each other better, a change happens. She'll actually start eating. However, this doesn't keep her from talking the entire time. So not only do us guys get to eat our food, but we get to see how yours looks too. The guy keeps up with the same thing. Order what you would normally, and try to keep the food pieces that could possibly fly from her mouth from landing on your plate.
Then they become an "item" or even get married. Then you find out this lady does something you never even considered: She eats ALL THE TIME. not big sit-down meals, but she's constantly snacking. Crackers here, a rice cake there, breakfast, a snack bar, a small doughnut, lunch, a candy bar, some Wheat Thins, a diet bar, Dinner, some ice cream, maybe a small slice of pie, a bag of popkorn.
It boggles the mind.
When I shop, I plan on what I'm going to get, know where I'm going, get in, get the stuff, and get out. Job done.
Browse. Look over the price of this or that, this would look nice. Let's see what's in this store. I know we don't need anything here, but it would be nice to plan on a time when we might, so let's go in here and see what they've got. Try this on. Try that. What do you think that would look like in "x" room? Ad Nauseum. Can you tell that I HATE shopping? No? I'll tell you then. I HATE SHOPPING.
Yet for all of this, we are somehow able to look past this, and find someone that seems to match us. Our compliment. The other half of our being. The one who can finish your sentance before you even know you're talking about it. The Yin for your Yang.
I don't know how it happens, and I don't know WHY it happens. Yet the thing I find the most humorous about it all is this one simple fact:
The person we come to join with is one who you'd NEVER expect to deal with. They do each and every thing that you don't do, and yet somehow, instead of this being some kind of annoyance, it is something that you wind up cherishing that person for.
The same exact behavior that your brother does that can send you completely over the edge is something that you boast about to your friends because your wife did it..
The stuff that seems to melt your eyeballs to hear about is the stuff that you love when your girlfriend does it...
Nothing's as cute or as adorable when that significant other is at work. They could do something you've sworn you'd never deal with, and it becomes passable..
What is it about these unchecked emotions we've got that makes us more tolerant?
If we were to ever be able to harness the power of an emotion, then I'm sure quite a few of the "world problems" we've got going today would be taken care of.
The wars that we fight would cease, since we could promote tolerance for religious and racial differences.
The political arena would be less of a mess, since we'd be more tolerant of deciet and broken trust issues.
Wages would increase, and the cost of living would decrease, because we'd be wanting to help support and provide for each and every person we came into contact with...
The only real problem I have is that we'd also be wanting to screw each and every face we saw..
For some, that's not considered a "bad" thing.
For me, I'm just too old now to really enjoy it!
Have a great week, and a happy Mother's Day (early) for my lady readers!