STRESS!!

Yeah, I'm a bit frazzled.

I have been in my classes now for a little over a year. I'm still holding strong to a 3.98 GPA (one stinking B+!! GRR!) I am working full-time for my girlfriend who owns her own business installing, developing, designing and creating graphics, AND we're moving this week to a new place....

Yeah, my cup runneth over, and right now I wish it was someone else's cup.

Don't get me wrong. I've been looking forward to all of this. I enjoy the classes. There's plenty of information that I didn't know about my chosen field that is jumping out at me. I love working, because I can't stand to just sit on my ass every day and hope things happen. I love my girlfriend, mainly because she accepts me for who I am, and not what she thinks I should be. And lastly I've been really looking forward to a bigger place because this little apartment would give even the most hearty of constitutions claustrophobia if they had to live here with another person and a fuzzy pet.

However, combining all of these elements into one really blows.

I mean, girlfriend gets stressed, and because of this, packing lags. Due to packing lags, moving gets put behind. Because moving gets pushed back, I do some work, and have to complete the job before continuing moving. However, this also has to take a backseat to classes, which are a priority for me right now. Juggle all of these, and then try to spice it up with the little surprises that make life just so much more interesting, and you've got a formula for the reason some folks grab high-powered rifles and try to kill every living thing in sight...

Not there yet, but there are times...

So, I'm trying to take bite-sized pieces out of the equation. I am trying to set a bunch of small goals to reach instead of large ambiguous ones, and see if it helps any.

Right now? I'd have to say.. "No, not so much, thanks for playing."

But at least I did try to work outside of the box, and try something different, right?

Wish me luck and sanity!

Have a happy holidays, and many enjoyable returns!

Memories

It is always difficult for me to enjoy the holidays anymore.

I get excited and enjoy the reactions of my kids and the younger ones that I have the joy of being around, but for me, the gloss and luster has dimmed.

I miss my grandparents.. Badly.

My grandpa would light up a room with his size, his laugh, and the love of life that would be a palpable aura around him wherever he went.

My grandma had an infectious laugh, incredible talent for cooking foods, and a way to make you feel loved and cared for just by taking your hand and holding it.

They are both gone now, and the empty hole in my soul still hasn't healed.

I know that eventually it will. However, knowing that father time has his own schedule, I also know that at some point someone else close to me will be gone as well.

Mortality sucks, you know?

Yet through it all, I've learned to enjoy the small things. Live life to the fullest, and to suck the marrow out of each day until I'm sure that there's nothing more I can eke out of this existance.

I will live, I will love, I will laugh..

I will be... Me.

Thoughts and other randomness

You know, there are times when I wonder if I will ever really find success or love.

Depression is an interesting thing. I can know that I'm dealing with it, and know that most of my perceptions are colored because of it. However, it is very difficult, when in a depressed state, to know what is the REAL issue, and what is the depression-given interpretation that I am dealing with.

I know that I'm still fighting depression over my divorce and loss of kids just this past year. I know that I'm also fighting depression because of the lack of work, and the plethora of schoolwork that keeps me from finding a steady full-time job until my degree is complete. I also know that I'm fighting depression about relationships because of the self-doubt of finding someone who is willing to accept me for who I am, and not who they imagine I could be.

Yet in all of this, the underlying theme is quite selfish.. It's ME.

How do I see myself?

Right now, I see myself as someone who still doesn't have a sense of where he's going, what he's doing, and how he's going to put it all together. I don't have a plan, I don't really have a purpose, and I don't have a goal to strive for.

I'm lost.

Yet, within this darkness, I have some light that I am working towards.

I have my kids. They love me dearly, and whenever I feel like there's no end to the dark, I can always call one of them, and their voice helps to lift me from the despair that clings to my soul.

I have my dream. School is the first step, and because of this, the dream is still vibrant and alive within me. I can't speak more of my dream, because then it ceases to be a dream, and becomes a goal. I'd rather chase the dream right now, thank you very much!

I have a desire. Or at least a desire to be desired.. At some point, I'm hoping that I'll find love. I'm not overly optimistic here, because I don't know if I am one of those folks who deserves to be loved. I don't know if I can find that one person who I know will love and want me for who I am, and not what I can do for them. I don't know if there is someone out there who will complete the emptiness that is within me. Yet for all of these doubts, I still cling to the hope that somewhere there is someone out there for me.

Thus, right now all I live on outside of my depression is hope. The hope that I will find my way. The hope that everything will work itself for the betterment of myself and my situation. The hope that I will find that someone. The hope that my kids won't have to deal with the trials and tribulations I have been dealing with.

At the end of the day, that is what keeps me going... Hope.

Trying out "new" things

Well, I am nearing the end of my first year of classes. One step closer to my degree, and still not really sure how I'm going to pull off finding this miracle job that my instructors and department chairs and deans of education keep telling me about.

I mean, it's not like I'm not actively looking for a job, and yet they seem to think that one is just going to drop in my lap because they want it to?

On another note, I am single no longer. I have found a lady friend who is willing to let me take it slow, and develop a relationship at my pace. She doesn't have any real expectations from me, aside from doing what comes naturally from me, so I can be myself, and not worry about reprecussions from my bad behavior! Then again, I try to behave myself, so my hope is that there aren't any trouble spots to iron out anyway!

I might be moving soon. I need to go where there's work, and my little town doesn't offer much in the way of employment. The bigger cities seem to have opportunities around each corner, and I know that I might be smoking a little wacky weed in my perception of employment opportunities, but if the jobs are around the big towns, then I must myself head to the big towns to get said jobs. That, and school is down there too, and the time and gas spent on the trip would more than pay for itself.

There are really only two things holding me back.

Fear and kids.

I fear for my stability. I mean, I'm jobless, and coming into cash to be able to move isn't something that is going to happen all at once. Getting into a place to live costs serious cash, and if I don't have some kind of plan for keeping up on said bills, I'm going to be looking for a new place to live much sooner than I had planned on.

There's my kids too. I mean, I love them, adore spending time with them, and I miss not being able to see them as much as I used to when they lived with me. However, if I can't support myself, how exactly am I going to support them?

I need to get stabilized and self-sufficient before I start worrying about my kids. If dad can't keep his own butt above water, what kind of image is that going to give my kids?

I might not be the best dad, but I'm going to do my best to be the best role model for them that I can.

When I look back at all I've done for my kids, I have to say that I'm not really upset at all about any of it. I just wish I had more time to improve on the positive things I've said and done.

Now, all I need to do is find peace with myself and where I'm at now...

Anyone know a quick fix for this one???

And people are surprised??

Ok, I have to admit that regardless of how long and how hard I try to keep my head buried in the sand, popular culture comes out and bites me in the ass from time to time.

This time, I've got an axe to grind with the self-absorbed Kardashians.

I mean, really??

These trust-fund tramps decide to air their self-indulgent asses all over television, hold outrageous weddings and try to pass it off as "reality" television??

What's REAL about it?

The only real thing I can see about this programming is when I reach for the remote and turn the damn set off.

Now? The biggest thing in "entertainment" is the divorce that Kim Kardashian is going through.

Ah, gee. Let's think about this for a second.

Tell ya what.. Hop into your limo, drive to Vegas, and get a nice 10 minute annullment. That will make up for the two weeks of wedded bliss, right?

Oh, and then don't forget to return all of the gifts and crap that everyone sent you, too!

Next time, try just exchanging dog tags or something easy to take off and toss in the crapper.

I'm done. Can't stand to think about it anymore. She has actually gotten me more worked up than thinking about that hoebag Kate Gosselin right now.. Arrgh!

Gonna go find a toilet and see if I can drown myself for a couple of minutes..

'Tis the season...

I keep getting depressed to see each and every year that Christmas tends to be advertised just a bit earlier..

I mean, before we know it, Back to School shopping will come with a 10% off Christmas apparel coupon or something!

Let's face it, Halloween and Christmas make BIG bucks for retailers. Costumes, decorations, goodies, presents, food.. It's just one big rummage sale once October hits.

Now? I was watching Christmas decorations being put up in one section of a store, and just across the aisle was the stuff for Halloween.. It kind of made me dizzy to see so much crap in so many places all at once.

We tend to totally forget about Thanksgiving, well aside from the unashamed gluttony that we allow ourselves that one Thursday of November, and then laze around and watch parades and football games!

When will we start doing the same kind of push in this country for Independence Day? I mean, if you really want to get down to it, that day commemorates the reason that we can make so much cash for Halloween and Christmas! Make it some kind of patronage day or something if you must, but at least give a tip of the hat or nod of recognition for it, shall we?

How about President's Day? I mean, there have been some serious leaders who have steered this country to greatness, and there have been some morons in office who couldn't have led us out of a Ziploc baggie, much less a bucket! Yet even these folks deserve our respect and admiration for getting where they were and the nod of respect for the office itself.

Memorial day? Anyone know why it's called that? Maybe to remember someone? Maybe? Any takers? Veterans day is a gimme, but at least with that one they didn't make it totally ambiguous so that those stoners can't forget what it is that makes the post office close early that day.

Valentine's day? Just another commercial gimmick for me. I mean, candy, flowers, gifts.. All I see is a bigger debt for me, and some flowers that will die within a week.. Hooray!

Easter? It's only a matter of time before "separation of Church and State" does away with this celebration, so I don't see it lasting much longer..

St. Patrick's day? Now here's a celebration I can get behind! Get drunk, drink some questionable beers, and hope you don't remember what it is you were doing or celebrating for. Amen.

Cinco de Mayo. Yes, we immortalize a celebration for another country here in our own nation just a bit more than our own. Don't ask me why.

New Years. Ah yes, the day when we get with friends and family, eat, watch TV, and make promises to ourselves that we have absolutely NO intention of following through with. Eventually we go to some strange bar, drink toasts with strangers, count down to the new year, kiss some strange people, and wake up the next day with a serious hangover that we are given a day off of work to recover.

Mardi Gras. The day when adolescent men get to see boobs if only they can afford to get a few cheap plastic necklace beads. Ah, what a great holiday!

I don't understand the motivation for most of the celebrations we as a country decide to honor, and I don't know what kind of motivations we have for WANTING to celebrate these days either.

Can someone else explain it to me?

Geeking out!!

Well, I've been waxing nostalgic for the last week.

First off, I finally broke down and watched the movie "The Social Network" about Facebook.

Honestly, I can't believe that they made a movie about this, and haven't done any about Napster, or E-Trade, or Ebay, or Amazon, or any of the other major corporations that are out there. I mean, yes, it's a social media that has taken the country by storm, but so are all of these others that I just mentioned PLUS many, MANY more.

Then, to top it all off, we lost a serious pioneer of the industry with the passing of Steve Jobs.

This man was a serious inspiration to me and my career choice. I mean, an orphan who joined a small computer club, met a man who would meet up and build computers in their garage? That small endeavor turned into a small business that grew into Apple. Then, when all of the hype died down, Jobs was FIRED from that position, and left to create two more companies! One didn't do so well, but I'm sure you've heard of the other.. Pixar. You know that one, right? The computer animation company that did Toy Story? Yeah, Disney bought that one from Jobs for a tidy sum.

Then you come back to Apple, and they aren't doing so well. Everything is kind of stagnant and sales are dropping. They beg Jobs to come back, and within a year he's cleaned house, and the MacBook is jumping off the shelves. In one more year, the IPod is released, and history is made. The you add the IPhone and IPad, and there's enough said.

The man was a genuis the likes of which will not be seen again in my lifetime I'm sure. He was one of three men who defined my generation, and will be seriously missed.

Who are the other two? I might talk about them in a later post.

Back to Mark Zuckerberg.. Yes, his idea was brilliant. He's successful. However, I question his moral and legal ethics. I mean, in all fairness he stole an idea, and made it his own. For that, there should be a movie immortalizing what he did? I disagree. I don't like the fact that he's still making money on his endeavor and that those who DID brainstorm up the idea are left with nothing but a petty settlement for their concepts. Maybe it's because in my field of work coming up with fresh and innovative ideas is getting more difficult because of the flood of "techies" who have their homegrown ideas.. I don't know. It just tends to rub me the wrong way.

I am headed to New Mexico for a few days. Got some work to do, and am hoping to have a day or two for some sightseeing. Wish me luck!

See y'all on the flip side!

Opinions and Politics

Basically, everyone has one, and the STINK.

Right now, I'm listening to folks bash this guy or that guy, who needs to take responsibility, and who is at fault for what.

I'm seriously considering making a new party.. The Common Sense party.

We won't be GOP, we won't be Democrat, not Green, not Tea, we'll stand for something more.

Common Sense.

I mean, COME ON PEOPLE!

How difficult is it to meet the needs of the masses, and do what is right for the country?

Granted, the Rich are always going to look for ways to get richer, and the poor are usually trying to find ways to have people help them out. That's a given.

However, how difficult is it to try to get some kind of incentive going to CREATE JOBS in this nation? Unemployment rate keeps growing because we don't have incentives to get lazy-assed people off welfare and back into the workforce. I mean, why work when you can get paid for doing nothing??

Common sense says to keep track of the spending, keep accountable for each dime you spend, and if things don't seem to match up right, then you cut off assitance until they can prove that they are really doing what they should be doing.

Common sense says that if someone is actually trying to work and make things work, then they should be given as much assistance as needed to make ends meet.

Common sense says that if you have more cash than 60% of the US population then you should be expected to pay more and be burdened with more costs in taxes.

Common sense doesn't seem to be common anymore.

Maybe common sense says that folks just don't want to face the truth and facts?

Thoughts

I don't know about where you live, but there is some serious stuff going down in my old hometown.

I grew up in a small community in southwest Washington state. That little sleepy community is now a hotbed of tension and turmoil regarding some labor disputes.

EGT, a Canada-based company built some grain terminals at the docks where I grew up, and has now staffed them with employees from a Tacoma-based union. The local union here ILWU, is protesting this by blocking trains, barricading and blocking access to the site, and basically throwing a world-class tempertantrum.

This last Monday, the president of the San Franciso-based union turned himself in, but only after trying to get the local police chief and county sherrif removed from office. His reasoning? That these men were applying "undue" force in trying to dissolve this strike. They were arresting men at their homes, and "harrassing" others under suspicion of causing mischief.

I don't know about you, but from what I know of police work, they tend not to arrest folks until they have the evidence they need to bring you in. Thus, they would arrest people once they had probable cause to get them. Sorry if that inconveniences you, but if you do the crime, don't expect some kind of medspa treatment. If you are planning on doing something stupid, don't you think the folks who are tasked with keeping the peace would be watching to make sure you don't cross a line, or maybe do something that could make things worse?

By this rationale, I could go rob a bank, and then when they close in on me I could turn myself in if only the people who are trying to arrest me are fired. Why? Because they caused me undue stress for breaking the law, and should be punished for it.

What kind of crap is this?

In my outspoken opinion, these labor guys need to grow up. They need to figure out that when you break laws, you pay for it. When you decide to buck the system, things tend to break loose, and folks pay a price.

Grow up, grow a pair, and move on.

Thank you!

More thoughts...

I have decided to become a more active parent.

Since my divorce, the kids have been living with their mom. I have been quite busy with my classes and work, and somewhat neglecting my time to spend with my children.

As of now, I resolve to change that.

To be an effective parent, you need to spend face-time with your kids, and show them that you not only provide for them, but that you want to take an active and vital role with them as well.

I am going to be there for my kids. I am going to provide for my kids. I am going to show to them that regardless of my situation or problems, they are going to take precedence in my life, and that because of them they are helping me to change my life.

My kids are my life. They are my muse. They are my reason.

How about yours?

Trying this writing thing again..

Well, I've decided that I need to practice my writing more.

Don't ask. I'm just ready to write.

I have so many things that I want to rant and rave about, I don't know where to start...

First off, I have problems with my lack of motivation to find yet another job.

Second, I have issues with my seeming lack of motivation to keep working hard at my classes for schooling.

Then there's the issue I have with myself and how I seem to be short-changing my kids.

I have a problem with the lack of follow-through in paying back my parents and best friend roommate.

I've got problems in learning to open up and trust others again.

I just don't know where to start..

I guess the place to start is with me.

Wouldn't you agree?

Rememberance

I recall that I got up late that morning.

I recall that my kids weren't wanting to get dressed, and that my wife wasn't wanting to travel.

I remember listening to the radio on the way to my parent's house, and hearing how something had happened in New York, that details were sketchy, but everything seemed to be under control.

I recall getting there to see my mom and dad glued to the television watching as the first tower burned, and watched firemen running into the building to try to get folks out.

I recall watching in disbelief as the second plane plunged into the second tower, and the feelings of shock and horror that someone could do this to innocent men, women and children.

I recall watching folks jump to their deaths from the buildings instead of stay inside those buildings to burn to death or be crushed under the tons of rubble.

I remember how angry I was upon learning who had claimed responsibility for the attacks, and the immensity of the operation.

I recall wondering just how many more attacks were going to happen, and how long it would take to get all the potential security leaks out of the airlines.

I recall the mass terror that gripped this nation and the racial angst that got even worse once these attacks happened.

Now? I see a nation that was seriously divided that has come together more, and has been more focused than it had ever been before.

I see a nation who refused to lay down and give up.

I see.... HOPE.

What do you remember about that day?

Revelations

I almost met God today.

I'm not joking.

I have been taking classes since December of last year to flush out my degree in computer science. This week is finals week for the quarter, and I was in my car heading to class to take a final on some classes I'd taken for Windows Server 2008.

While driving, I was quizzing myself over things I'd read, and was keeping an eye out for traffic since Friday traffic is usually ugly and tough to deal with.

While stopped at a stoplight, I changed the radio station, checked my mirrors, and then waited.

The light turned green, I waited for some cross-traffic to clear, and headed into the intersection to get past them and merge onto the freeway for some fun stop-and-go bumper-to-bumper traffice all the way to the school.

As I got into the intersection, I noted a flash of blue out of the corner of my left eye. That was all the warning I got.

Screaming tires, honking horns, and severely cramped muscles are all that I remember afterwards.

I didn't get hit. The fellow in the lane to the left of me got that pleasure. However, I did end up being able to see all of the detail in up-close Hi-Def color and action right outside my open driver side window.

That close call made me forget about my petty worries and doubts. It put anything out of my mind except to note that I have been taking many things for granted.

As of now, I stop worrying about the things that aren't in my control. I deal with what I can, and make due with those things that I can't influence.

I resolve to enjoy the little things, cherish the great milestones, and make the most out of what I've been given.

To do any less is criminal, to my way of thinking.

Hope you think about this as well!

Ciao!

State of the Union Address:

My fellow bloggers, there stands a serious injustice on the face of the planet.

Casey Anthony has been found innocent of the death of her child.

Wait, wait.. Not death. Murder. She isn't guilty of murdering her child.

Now, in my opinion as a parent, she's as good as a murderer, since she knew something was wrong, and yet did NOTHING to prevent it.

So now? We have a self-absorbed person free to go about her business (once her prison sentance for her "petty" crimes are done) and do the same thing again..

Where exactly is the justice?

Granted, the jury might not have some of the information we were spoon-fed by the media. We might have been told quite a few extra stories by the reporters just to make a great story and gain more media coverage. I don't know. What I do know is this...

Karma is a bitch, and Casey Anthony will find that out sooner or later....

Thoughts on Easter

I was raised in a Southern Baptist household. I have studied many forms of Christianity, plus various other religions. I consider myself fairly well schooled when it comes to the many different forms of religion, and their beliefs and teachings.

However, I tend to forget something that to this day nearly brings me to my knees in awe and wonder.

This evening, as I was finishing my homework for classes, I had been browsing the TV, and had it set on a channel that I usually enjoy watching for th different movies it shows. I paid little real attention to the movies, as I was completely focused on my work. However, something in the tone of the movie playing made me turn my head.

The Passion of the Christ was showing, and they had gotten to the point where Jesus was being flogged for the satisfaction of the Hebrew High priests.

The total and complete savagery and brutality of his flogging is something I don't think I'll ever be able to get out of my mind. From the first time I saw this movie, I still tend to downplay just how much of a beating this man took. He was beaten within an inch of his life, but spared only to hang in the worst possible way that someone could be executed in those days.

It is times like these when I am glad for my faith, and for the love I have for my creator. If not for his sacrifice and blood and love, I would be nothing but a lump of human clay destined for death.

As it is, I am an angelic being destined for life everlasting once this mortal husk is gone.

Have a great Easter, and God Bless!

Random thoughts for the newest post

I figured that since I don't post much anymore, I'd just say what is on my mind in the title, and if it piques your interest, then you'll read, or you'll ignore it.

Either way, it doesn't really matter to me, since it's my blog, and I can make the rules as I see fit!

Something really bothered me this week as I was driving to a work location.

See, I am going to classes three days a week, and the other "free" days I spend doing odd jobs for the income to keep myself afloat. Recently, that job has been as an installer and cleaner for a graphics company. I've been doing audits of banners, signs, window vinyl and various other graphic forms. It's interesting work, and the pay pretty much keeps me where I need to be as a full-time student needing to support himself.

Anyway, I was on my way to a jobsite when I read a billboard and the accusatory statement that was on it. The general gist of the saying was "Iraq, Pakistan and Libya.. What will Obama's next tour of duty look like?"

Honestly, that really rubbed me the wrong way. You see, in my viewpoint there isn't much that the US as a whole gets into that hasn't been festering for quite a while on a global level. You can't lay the entire blame of Iraq on Obama, since George Jr and Sr both had a hand in that conflict, along with Clinton. You can't blame Pakistan on him as well, since there's been unrest in that country since well before Jimmy Carter's time. And Libya? PLEASE. That's like blaming Obama for Vietnam, even though we all know that Kennedy, Johnston and Nixon were the ones manning the helm during that one. However the buildup of that one dates back to Eisenhower, if you get technical with it.

So my point here is that just because the conflict became something that couldn't be ignored does not mean that the person in office at the time is the one fully responsible for the resulting actions. That would mean that whomever is the head of Fannie Mae, or any other institute would be to blame for the failures of their predecessors. It's unreasonable and quite childish.

In my opinion, Obama isn't that bad of a president. True, there are things he's tried to do that I don't agree with, but his intentions seem to be in the right place. However, the worst thing to do is blame him for everything that is wrong, or worse, give him credit for everything that's going right, and then objectify him as either a prodigy or a devil.

I mean, when Obama was up for election, EVERY media outlet was treating him like some kind of national religion.. "You can say something bad about Obama, but then say 50 'Hail Obamas' and do three touchy-feely pieces later". He was hailed as the next Lincoln, Roosevelt and Washington before he ever stepped foot in office, let alone elected!

This is what I have a problem with in the media anymore. I mean, they want a good story, and aren't afraid to totally villify someone if the sales are good enough. They'll print a retraction or apology later (on page 12 as a blurb) and keep sensationalizing stories that really don't need embellishment or anything elaborate.

When did we stop reporting the truth, and start becoming a nation of storytellers?

Classes Redux

Well, I aced my first quarter. All A's, and perfect attendance! I'm quite proud of that, really. Now I've got some more interesting classes, and I'm sure as the course goes onward that they'll get more diffficult. However, there's still review stuff and I'm hoping that I'll be able to remember enough of what I learned that I can still pull off the good grades.. But for now, my biggest hurdle isn't classes. It isn't the instructors, and it isn't the homework. No, my biggest trial right now is getting work. I need a steady job that is able to work around my school scedule, and yet also give me the income I need to keep going. Pray for me. Pray that I have the patience. Pray that I keep an open mind. Pray that I don't go postal on these younger kids who act like I should find a corner to go off and die in. Most of all, pray that I'll be able to see this thing through to the finish. Because right now? I'm not sure if I can yet.

The end of the beginning..

Well, my first quarter as a returning student is over, and I'm glad I've got a chance to take a breath.

After this week, I have a new appreciation for those who are able to dedicate all of their time to schooling, and don't have to divide their attention between a career and their studies.

However, that being said, those who are able to juggle both work and school and still excel in both completely ASTOUND me. I mean, I've been working on and off during my classes, and I can't honestly understand how some folks can work full-time, go to full-time classes, and still do excellent in school plus do an outstanding job at work. For those, I honestly bow in awe and admiration.

I finished this quarter with perfect attendance, and a 4.0, so I'm happy with the results. However, this is just the head of the beast, and I know that the classes are going to become more troublesome and difficult as the weeks progress. I'm just looking forward to the opportunity to learn what I need, and gain the holy relic that employers are looking for now instead of experience: a school degree.

I recall when I first entered my job market, there wasn't any kind of specialized degree for my field of work. As long as you knew what a computer was, and could operate it, you were hired. Now? If you don't have a specialized degree in a specific field or area of expertise in that specialized field with the corresponding degree, you aren't even considered for the position, much less hired for it!

Whatever happened to that adage that experience provides the best teacher? Some of the class sessions I sat in strongly disagreed with me. Why? Because school tries to teach each student absolutes. However, in the workplace you don't get that luxury. What might be black and white in a classroom is quite often clouded with many shades of gray in the real world. Thus, there were quite a few times where my angest and "bitter" real world experience kept me from sitting still and listening, and giving an opinion that quite often ended in a nice long debate session. However, in most cases what I disagreed with was also seen as true by my instructors, and I wasn't belittled or degraded for offering my experiences. In this, I'm really looking forward to further classes. However, I'm also wondering at which instructors are going to be more close-minded than the ones I previously had. Each teacher has their own teaching style, and I'm sure not all are going to be as easy-going as my first instructors.

We'll see.

I'll keep you posted, and can't wait for my two week vacation, but much more for my second set of classes!

Cheers!

Random Ramblings..

Pet Peeves..

Yup, we've all got them. From the way someone talks, to the way a sandwich is made to how someone dresses/smells/behaves. It's all there, and most times it's not pretty when something sets us off, and the angst and peevishness comes out.

Today, I'm going to vent about one of my pet peeves.

Being a commuter, there is one thing that REALLY sets me off.

Arrogant drivers.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not the world's best driver myself. I'm sure that if everyone drove like I do, the entire world will crash and burn in a fiery ball and horrific crash.

What I tend to do is know where I'm going, and how much time it's going to take me to get there. Then I plan accordingly, and try to get there with the least amount of stress and bother. Granted, there are times when I oversleep, or forget about the time, and then try to race to make up for my lapse in attention. But for the most part, I do try to keep myself under control when behind the wheel of my car. I pay attention to the other drivers, and try to keep out of the way of everyone else.

What really bothers me is when you have that person that A) Really doesn't care, and drives their own way, and slows everyone down; or B) just can't figure out how a car works, and drives like the car is driveing itself, and not the driver of the car.

These two types of drivers annoy me in more ways than I can possibly explain, but I'll make the attempt.

We've all been caught behind that driver who insists on driving 10 or more miles UNDER the speed limit, and refuses to allow folks to get past in order to get to their destination. Now imagine this type of person doing this same exact thing to THREE LANES of traffic on a freeway! Yes, I've had to deal with this, and I still don't understand what their motivation for this was. As long as they stay out of my way, I'm good, but unfortunately this driver decided that they needed to show everyone that they aren't only slow, but that they also didn't care for any other drivers on the road, and were more important than anyone else.

Secondly, I can't stand those folks who are arrogant enough to try to bully other drivers. Everyone's made mistakes. With a little luck, you don't pay for a driving mistake, and can feel bad about it, but no harm, no foul.

Now take that minor mistake, add road rage, and you get my second pet peeve. Say you accidentally cut off a driver who's speeding, and trying to cut around some traffic. You don't get into any kind of wreck, but you feel bad for cutting off the driver, and the driver now has to slow down for a short period of time before getting to his destination. Now, this driver finds a way to get around you, then proceeds to do to you what you accidentally did to him. He then cuts you off, and slams on his brakes to jockey you around. I hate, and I _do_ mean HATE those type of drivers. Yes, we make mistakes, we don't need you to then add to it by being an asshole and making a potential show out of it, thanks.

Anyway, that's my rant for today. Hope y'all have a great week, and I'll wander back in later and talk about something else that bothers me.

Peace.

Mid-Term!

Yes, I'm halfway through my first quarter of classes. Personally, I'm doing well, mainly because for me most of the classes right now are review, and I'm really learning how to get back into the "school" swing of things. However, I'm sure as the year goes on I'll be trying to catch my ass as the classwork and teachings become more in-depth and detailed about my chosen field of study.

As of yesterday, I became single yet once again. So, for the second time I'm now alone, aside from my kids, who are again living with their mom. I try to get to see them as much as I'm able, but with school and the frantic searching for work I really don't get much time to see them as I'd like to.

Speaking of work, I really.. REALLY need to find a job. For those of you who are inclined, I wouldn't frown if some prayers were sent up in my stead for me to find some kind of employment. I'm searching daily, plus using temporary hiring agencies, and the employment services of the school, but so far there's been no joy in Mudville for this blogger.

I hope to start writing a bit more frequently as I get a handle on my schedule and whatnot, but as of now all I can promise is the occasional post while I struggle with the juggling I have to do to get money in my pocket and scribbleing of answers on my homework papers.

Best wishes to all of you, and thanks for the read!