It is always difficult for me to enjoy the holidays anymore.
I get excited and enjoy the reactions of my kids and the younger ones that I have the joy of being around, but for me, the gloss and luster has dimmed.
I miss my grandparents.. Badly.
My grandpa would light up a room with his size, his laugh, and the love of life that would be a palpable aura around him wherever he went.
My grandma had an infectious laugh, incredible talent for cooking foods, and a way to make you feel loved and cared for just by taking your hand and holding it.
They are both gone now, and the empty hole in my soul still hasn't healed.
I know that eventually it will. However, knowing that father time has his own schedule, I also know that at some point someone else close to me will be gone as well.
Mortality sucks, you know?
Yet through it all, I've learned to enjoy the small things. Live life to the fullest, and to suck the marrow out of each day until I'm sure that there's nothing more I can eke out of this existance.
I will live, I will love, I will laugh..
I will be... Me.