Thursday, June 17, 2010


I'm frustrated. I'm confused. I'm pissed..

Well, since I'm writing, that's usually a given, isn't it?

What makes behavior in one person acceptable to someone, while the same behavior from someone else is completely intolerable?

Is there some kind of magic switch that makes us view things from specific people radically different from others?

Take this for example:

I've got two dogs. However, since moving out, the dogs have stayed at the house with the sister-in-law who has been living with us for the past TWO years. I took said dogs to the groomers, and brought them back. Upon dropping by the house today to check for any mail, I found the dogs still outside, no water, dirty, unkept, and I'm not really sure if they were fed, either.

I proceeded to complain about this to my wife. I also stated that if taking care of the dogs was too much for the sister-in-law, I'd be willing to dog-sit them until wife got home, and bring them back up to the house.

In response, I got a snooty reply, letting me know that _I_ wasn't such a good person to take care of the dogs, either, and to stop writing negative emails to her, as she's enjoying her time there, and doesn't want to spoil anything.

So, it's ok for Sis to mistreat the dogs, because obviously I did it too, right? Um, excuse me? I got kicked out of the house! Shouldn't the same kind of treatment be levied against good 'ol sister too? If not that, maybe some kind of nice, long silent treatment, with a good long bitch session two or three days later?

If this were my brother, I can guarantee you that she'd be up in arms over the way he'd been treating the dogs, and he'd be a bastard for life. However, it's her sister, her family, and nothing and nobody is going to be able to show her that things aren't going well there.

Honestly, I don't want to bitch and complain to her about things here. I would LOVE for things here to be nice, and peaceful, and happy-go-lucky.

However, reality dictates that I be sincere. I get in too much trouble when I start making things up, and honesty is the best policy, correct? Here's a reality check for you: Just because you're having a nice time AT A RESORT doesn't mean that REAL LIFE IS GOING TO STOP FOR YOU. Sure, you might have put it on "hold" for a bit, but the fact of the matter is that you're going to have to face the things you've put aside, and deal with them eventually whether you want to or not.

I've offered to help. I've tried to be supportive. Hell, I've bent over backwards to do what she's asked, even when I don't agree with it.

I just can't anymore.


You're at a camp to learn how to lose weight, and keep with a program. However, I don't think it teaches you how to say "no" to your desires of grabbing an easy fast-food lunch when you're out with clients. I also don't think they teach you the willpower to say "no" to friends when they keep pestering you to go eat appetizers at your favorite restaurants. They give you skills you need in order to fix your meals, and exercise. They don't teach you self-restraint and common sense. Those are assumed to have been learned. However, if you've gotten into the habit of putting something aside "just this once" a few times too often, you get into a vicious circle of starting off strong, and fading quickly thereafter.

Sad, but that's what I see happening here. It's the same with any diet program that I've seen taken in action. Binge, purge, workouts, exercise, nutrition, Atkins, whatever you want. You start it, stay focused for a while, make headway, and celebrate by letting go for a bit. Then you buckle down to start in again, but not as strict as the last time. Not as much of a result, disillusionment sets in, and it starts sliding backwards from there.

Wow. At first this was a rant against Sister In Law and my wife's protection of her, and it's turned into a flame against my wife's drive for yet another diet and exercise program.

It's late. I should get to bed.

Think about this for a second:

Moderation has always been the key for stable weight loss and dieting. If you consistently exercise, and moderate how much you eat, you'll lose weight, or maintain the weight that you want to be at. Granted, it's not going to be some HUGE weight loss that you'll document for a couple of weeks. It's going to be gradual, and it's going to take time and effort. (GASP!) Yes.. TIME and EFFORT. You have to work at it (consiously!) in order to make it effective and work.

Anyway, that's my bitch. Read or ignore at your leisure.


Dana said...

Hmmmm ... normally I agree with what you say, but this time? Not-so-much.

Actually, let me rephrase that. I agree with what you are saying (specifically regarding the weight loss) but I think you are being far too simple with it.

If it were as "easy" as saying no consistently - as "easy" as eating in moderation consistently - as "easy" as exercising consistently - this nation would not have an obesity problem.

Yes, losing weight is all about using up more calories than you take in ... and every fat person knows that. The problem is that those motivators that keep us fat do not magically turn in to motivators that make us thin.

I know this was a frustrated rant, but it really came across as demeaning and condescending ... maybe because I share this struggle with your wife.

gottaluvme3 said...

First of all, Kym has lived there just over a year. Second of all, I told you I am not going to worry about anything while I am here. What is going to happen, is going to happen. There is nothing I can do about it while I am here. I will deal with it when I get home. THIRD: Do you know what a jerk you sound like basically talking about how unsuccessful I will be when I get back? Actually, there are plenty of lectures talking about self control, and how to deal with real life when you get home. And you think I am having a nice time here, you are completely wrong! The first two weeks were hell, the third week was tolerable, and the forth will be great, because I am so excited about leaving this joint! It is nice to see how supportive you are though, living with me or not.....