Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Something I raelly don't understand..

Well, I said I wasn't going to write about my family.

I lied.

My wife is a very single-minded individual when it comes to things she wants. This can be a good or bad thing, but for me, I see it as a blessing and one of her best character traits.

This last year, she finally found her half-brothers, and made contact with them, and was able to meet them and their wives.

Myself, I didn't see much in it, because I'd grown up with my family all around me, and not had the supposed stigma of a divided family where my brother is only like 9 days older than myself..

Thus, we get to an issue that happened this week that has really bothered me.

Since reconnecting with her brothers, my wife has been trying to do everything possible to befriend and get to know these folks that she shares common blood with.

I applaud this, and I encouraged her.

However, the more she tried to get to know them, the more we were pushed away.

Now? I'm pissed.

My wife went out this last weekend with the girls. This led to some curious behavior, and high-school drama best left to children, and not adults.

First off, the new additions to the family are drinkers. I don't really have a problem with folks drinking, in fact I have a glass or two myself every now and then. However, it does decrease your mental capacity, and you might say or do things which on a "normal" day you wouldn't think of doing otherwise.

Well, on one such occasion, the two were drinking, and were quite inebriated. This led to a confession from the wife of one of the brothers to my wife about her and some indiscretions she'd taken while being married.

My wife kept it quiet. After all, she wanted to be there FOR her family, not tear it apart.

A few weeks later, at another get-together, the bride of the other brother while intoxicated also admitted that there had been indiscretions committed by the other wife while she was married. I was actually in the room at this time, and heard this confession.

Now, just this last week, the ladies went out again, and got their drink on. Enter in my wife's friend, who is quite the flirt, and also very willing to get her drink on as well. They went to the first bar (yes, I did say FIRST here), and proceeded to have a few, and talk. The two wives decided to go to another place, and my wife and her friend dropped by her brother's house to say hello before continuing on. During this, the wife called, and found out about the visit. Jealousy reigned supreme, and all hell broke loose.

Apparently, when you've cheated on your spouse, you're unable to think that the other one is willing and able to think about nothing but their love and affection for their loved one, and so the assumption is that because they did it, the other one will as well.

My wife and friend get to the next bar, and conversation starts, but there's a lying undertone of malice. One wife leaves the bar for a while, assumed to go out for a smoke, yet leaving her smokes and keys and purse on the table.

I don't know about you, but I find it awfully difficult to smoke when I don't have a cigarette, don't you?

Add to this that these two wives were also shamelessly flirting with men at other tables.

I wasn't there, but from some things I've observed, I highly doubt that my wife and her friend were lying about these actions.

Now we get to the problem I've got.

This family of my bride's is really starting to annoy me.

Now? She doesn't care what they do. They've chewed her out, called her a bitch, and proceeded to erase her from their lives.


Because they are running away from their problems, and deciding that if they cover it up enough, then they won't have to deal with their ugly and dirty laundry that they've scattered all over this small town.

Now, I'm normally laid back, and reserved. I don't like to get into a confrontation.

However, if I were to see either of these two families anytime soon, I'd be more than willing to give them a piece of my mind.

They've used our goodwill, and our hospitality, and then tossed us to the curb when it got to be something "normal". Now, they aren't willing to talk, and since we know that they're not the stellar people that they've professed to be, they're trying to run away and hide.

For me, I could care.

But I hurt for the loss done to my wife.

It's family she knew that she had, but hasn't really had time to connect with.

Knowing the character of these folks now, I can honestly say "good riddance", but there is a part of me that wishes things could have been different somehow.

Anyway, I'm off after today, and I'm going to be away on vacation.

I'll write more when I get back, and tell you all about our trip, and the fun things we did.. Maybe even some of the drama that I'm suspecting is going to rear it's ugly head, too!

Have a great week, and I'll see you all on the 24th!


Real Live Lesbian said...

It's sad...but very true about most families. There's always that troublemaker.

Hope she can turn some of her friends into the family that she wants. Sometimes that's the best way to go.

Another Suburban Mom said...

I am sorry about your wife getting mistreated by her new family.

I have always believed that our friends and spouses are our chance to have a do over on the people we were assigned to.

Dana said...

Brave ... she is very brave ...

I have this dynamic with Cam - 6 half siblings in all, and no contact with any of them. Hopefully he'll have the courage to seek them out at some point, even if it isn't a happily ever after story.

Amorous Rocker said...

That sucks that your wife got such a bummer deal out of that.

Hope y'all enjoy the vacation.Looking forward to the posts when you get back! :)

Another Suburban Mom said...

When you get back from Vacation, check out my blog. I gave you an award.

Catherinette Singleton said...

Wow, that's some tough stuff. I feel sad for your wife. I'm sure she was so excited to reconnect to them, and must be feeling a terrible loss with how it's all turned out.

Those wives are a bunch of catty frenching bitches. I don't care for their shenanigans, and you know how I like shenanigans!!