Yeah, it's my birthday, but that's not what I want to write about, so here's my rant!
This last weekend, I got unloaded on for things to do around the house.
Normally, I don't mind much, because I kinda like working on the house, and getting things done and improved.
However, this weekend wasn't like most that involve home projects.
Last week, my wife decided that because of the falling interest rates we needed to refinance the house, and see about consolidating all of our debt. I was in agreement, and she went to the bank.
However, in order for this process to go through, a new assessment of our house needs to be done in order to get a proper value of the home before basing the payments.
Now, we've done a TON of work to this house. However, there aren't many projects that have been completed. Yeah, you know how this works...
First, you start a project, and you get the big stuff done. After seeing the major change, you think "I'll come back to this later, and put the finishing touches on it, because there are other jobs that need to get done now" type of thing.
Now, I have to be honest. I'm great at putting things off that I don't want to do. I can find all sorts of reasons NOT to do a job. But there have also been times when I have noticed a "hanging" job, and commented that we need to get the stuff so I can finish it as well... Those have been the times when my wife has been willing to put it off.
Not so this weekend.
We made a trip out to Lowe's, and I watched my next month's worth of weekends get tossed out in favor of doing the "finishing touches" on all of the projects we've neglected.
My father-in-law was with us, and he made some kind of snide comment to my wife about how she wasn't going to be able to get out of helping with the jobs.
She replied to him "This is guy's work. I don't have to help. I do the woman's jobs around the house, this one is his responsibility."
Yeah. That's stuck with me and been REALLY irritating this weekend.
I have tried to keep any kind of sexism from this relationship. I've been more than willing to let her have her space and time alone, and I've been willing to do the jobs that need to be done around the house.
After the comment I got this weekend?
Not so much.
Define "man's work" and "women's work" for me.
If you're going to tell me that a woman's work is stuff around the house, then she owes me a TON of time doing some "man's work" because I've filled in when she hasn't pulled her weight. Dishes? Laundry? Vacuuming? Dusting? Cleaning?
I'd define all of the above as "woman's work" since they're jobs inside of the house, wouldn't you?
As for "man's work".. Fixing, repairing, yardwork.. Isn't that considered "my" stuff to do?
She's not helped much at all with my "man" jobs compared to the things I've helped her with. Yet I've decided now to bitch about them...
Here's the catch, and why I was good with things until she opened her mouth.
"Woman's work" is things that need to be done daily. There's not some weekly plan you can get into action that is going to effectively take care of all of the household chores that need to be completed. Thus, I pitch in and help where needed. I mean, I don't really like sitting around on my ass all day, and if I can help her in the process, then it's a win-win situation for me, right?
With the "man's work", it's weekly stuff. Yardwork. Cut the grass. Trim the hedges, rake the gravel back onto the drive.. That doesn't need to be done daily, and can wait to be done. Repairs aren't frequent, and they do take time when they need to get done, but they in no way really balance out for the daily house chores.
Yet if this is how she's going to treat my work on the house, I'm willing to be an ass, and give her exactly what she called for.
Case in point:
I did the last load of dishes that were in the sink, and then put them in the dishwasher yesterday. Last night, I made dinner, and I left the dirty dishes in the sink. After all, dishes are "women's work", and since I'm doing "man's work" she needs to come home and get caught up!
Yeah, she worked last night, and I could have done them. But since I am going to be working for 10 hours today, and then coming home to start more repair work, I think the account balance here is fairly even.
Here's another thing that annoys me about our Home Improvement.
I can't do all of the jobs. I don't know how to install doors, re-wire electrical outlets, do plumbing, or major changes to a house exterior.
However, she has friends who do.
The worst part about this? I WANT to learn how to do these things. Yet when she gets friends over to help get a job done (such as installing a door) I tend to feel like a fifth wheel, and keep getting in the way. The person helping gets frustrated because they just want to get someone else's job done so they can get back to THEIR work, and everyone gets a bit on edge...
Never a happy moment there, to be honest.
So, I've got some projects lined up to be done. How they're going to get done is beyond me at the moment, but they'll get done.
I'm sure I'll be back on in later days to complain about something or other with this newest repair gig, so keep reading!
Happy Tuesday everyone.