Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Who do you turn to??

This last weekend, I dealt with something that I really don't like having to witness, let alone take care of.

My sister-in-law is going through a divorce, and it's getting ugly.

Add to that her need to find a new guy in her life, and things get even more screwed up.

Then you mix in some alcohol, and it just becomes madness on wheels.

She's been through more boyfriends in the last year than I can honestly keep track of.

Plus, aside from the guys she's seeing, there are the boy-toys that she's juggling on the side, and you never know when the mood is going to strike for her to dump the one she's been "devoted" to for a while, and pick something new.

Kind of like girls, clothes, and shoes.

So, this week her boyfriend flew into town all the way from Chicago.

He's a nice guy. I acutally like him. He's a comedian, and he and a couple other comedian buddies were going to do a comedy show at a local restaurant this weekend. We planned on having dinner, then watching the show, then sticking around for some dancing (a DJ was going to be on after the comedy troupe), then head home and crash.

The dinner was great. Good food, funny folks, camaraderie.

The comedy show was priceless. The guys were all funny, and the crowd was HUGE. Very good time.

The time after the show? Not so great.

Sis-in-Law drinks. And when she drinks, she gets stupid drunk. Not just a little drunk, STUPID drunk.

That happened this weekend.

She got plastered. Then she proceeded to make a total scene with various others present, including her boyfriend. I honestly felt really sorry for the guy.

She was dancing and grinding with anyone and everyone on the dance floor. Girls, guys, it didn't matter. However, if her boyfriend would've done that, she'd have yelled her butt off at his actions. Heck, she did at one point, because he said hello to a girl he hadn't seen in 20 years.

Now, granted, this girl had also asked him over for dinner, and didn't want the SIL to come with.. But that's another story!

Anyway, things were getting out of hand, and were still proceeding downhill quickly.

As I talked with the boyfriend, he actually confided in me that the way my SIL was acting reminded him of his most recent ex, and the way she used to act. It was REALLY giving him bad vibes, and we wondered what kind of mistake he'd made.

That cut it for me.

Now, I normally could care less about what my SIL does with herself. She's a grown adult, and she has to deal with the consequences of her actions.

However, when those said actions start to hurt others, they need to be stopped.

So, I had my wife try to corral her sister, and I got everyone moved out of the club, and into cars.

SIL then proceeded to be drunk, and call around demanding to know why everyone was trying to kill her fun. She then demanded to go out and eat. (like I was going to deal with her drunk butt in a public restaurant!), and demanded that we take her to her boyfriend's hotel room.

I declined to do all of these things. I did drop by a drive through, and get her some food. However, I didn't let her out of the car, I took her straight home, and then I left her to her own devices.

I'm not one who will deal with sloppy drunk folks. I don't have the patience for it, and I really don't have the temperment to be condescending and responsive to someone who thinks that it's funny or cute.

Because of this, I'm sure that I was a complete and arrogant asshole to her the rest of that night.

I'm not going to apologize.

I honestly feel that she needs help.

She needs counselling for her emotional state at her divorce, and the things that happened to her in the events prior to and leading up to her separation from her ex.

She needs help with her alcohol.

There has never been more booze in my home than since she moved in with us. There's been booze before, but my wife and I don't really drink much, and when we do, it's usually my wife that gets tipsy, not me. Yes, I'm a prude and a party-killer, deal with it.

I also think she needs to come to terms with herself and her self-worth before she really starts looking for another relationship, but again, she's a grown adult.

I can say all of these things, but it doesn't change the fact that it's HER. HER choice. HER actions. HER decision. HER life.

Yes, it really kind of kills me to see how badly she's tearing apart what she has. But until she's hit bottom, and really has no place else left to go, I don't think it's really going to change.

It's sad, but unfortunately that doesn't make it any less true.

I just hope I don't have to see it, and that maybe she'll wake up and realize that she needs some help, and that she needs to seriously change.

We'll see.

1 comment:

Joker_SATX said...

Wow...Yeah, I agree with you there. Throwing positive vibes your way bro!