Sunday, April 26, 2009

Back, and with a new perspective!

Well, it's been a while since I've posted, and I'm not sure really where to begin here.

Things seem to be better at the house. We're not fighting, but yet there still seems to be a bit of tension running just under the surface. I don't know if this is just me, and I'm fooling myself, yet it really does feel like I'm playing with a tripwire I can't see, and the bomb it's connected to could go off at any moment.

However, until such time, I'll be willing to make things seem normal and stable if only for the sake of the kids, who were concerned about where things were going.

I'm also trying to see if taking more time to focus on my wife will help matters. Maybe I've been too self-absorbed, and haven't been spending enough time with her and tending to her needs.. Maybe we need to have personal getaway time each time the kids are at their mom's for the weekend.. Maybe I should focus more on what I love about her, instead of the things that irritate me..

Speaking of that, let me ask you all something.

As men, do you often wonder why ladies will complain about the things you do (and especially the things you DON'T do) when they get together? My wife and her two close girlfriends watch TV shows at our place on Tuesdays and Wednesdays on most weeks, and even though they try to be quiet, some of the conversation can be easily overheard, and I can hear them talk about such things. How he's doing this, and it bothers them. Or he's NOT doing this, and he really should. Why can't he do this, like she's seen other guys do? Et Cetera..

When I've been out with my guy friends, we will sometimes talk about our wives, but for the most part we avoid this. Why? Because we want to have a good time, and not have something possibly get back to the wife that we'll have to pay for later. Plain, simple, easy.

Ladies: Why do you feel the need to complain or compare your significant other to people? Why is it that just being a person isn't good enough? Are there times where you feel they just won't listen, and so talking about personal things with friends is going to better or help the situation?

Heh. Listen to me here. I'm complaining and asking for information from interweb folks about a subject that really kind of strikes me as being a bit oxymoronic...

Let's just say that I don't understand the need for comparison or complaint.

Yeah, there are times when I've found myself comparing my wife to other people. However, when I _do_ find myself doing this, I stop. I prefer to take my wife at face value. I appreciate the things she does, and I love her for the person she is, not the person she could become.

How about all of you? What are your thoughts?


Diesel said...

Hope everything works out ok, dude. Sorry I left a douchebag comment on your last post, but as you saw, if I hadn't, Brad would have.

Dana said...

Ummm ... not all women do that?? Seriously!

I am guilty of trying to gain perspective - is this behavior "normal" in the realm of husbands? But to bitch just to bitch?? Nahhh ...

Jaime said...

not all women get together just to bitch about the men in their lives. but sometimes you guys do the strangest or must frustrating things... and it helps to get another woman's perspective on things. of course, if you want to volunteer to fill that role and explain the male mind to all of us, then we'd never need to get together for the "bitchfest" hope everything works out okay

just a girl... said...

As I was reading this post it made me think of something my son said to me the other day in the car. Mind you he is 14. We are driving and he says "mom, why are girls so weird". He says If I call one of my guy friends and they are at the movies. They say "hey dude, at the movies ttyl." If I call becca at the movies I can't get her off the phone. She wants to tell me about the popcorn, the weather, who she is with, what she is wearing, and its annoying.

Bottom line we have all heard it over and over. Women are emotional and Men are physical. I think yes sometimes women talk about men to gain perspective, from other women. But the bitching part that you are talking about sometimes goes to far.

Every relationship has issues. At the end of the day you have only have one question to ask. Are you guys happy and if you arent then do things to fix it.

Side Note: Sometimes it doesn't matter if everything is great in a relationship. Some women just like to bitch. Their are women out there who are miserable with themselves therefore only choose to see bad in others. Just my two cents.

just a girl... said...

oh and can I just add. that i have been gone for a month and come back to see Dana.

I am loving Dana.