A bit of clarification here:

So, I've been told that this rant I'm currently on is childish.

Really?

So then you feel that our ancestors who left a country in order to speak and say what they wanted were idiots and fools, little better than children for leaving their country of origin, and sailing across the oceans in search of freedom?

I'm not doing THAT grand of an action.

All I'm asking for is some respect and consideration for those that want it.

I'd have done this REGARDLESS of who was being attacked.

The fact is that I read about 20 or so blogs, and it just so happens that Dana's blog is the ONLY one where I see constant belligerant behavior.

(Aside from my own blog, of course!)

I can't stand the fact that some person can come into a place, belittle someone, make everyone else feel just a bit badly for the blog writer getting flamed, then spout off when attacked about their "freedom of speech" and how they have every right to say their piece of mind.

I agree with this.

Yet having that say ALSO means that the person who you're belittling has a right to what they say.

I mean, if Dana were to succumb to the peer pressure that Snugs and DoggyBloggy put on her, she'd really be no better off than most oppressed folks.

What good is it to have freedom of speech if you can't say what you like on a BLOG that you created?

What good is it to have freedom of speech if you can't be open on a public forum?

Attacking someone for what they do is usually expected. Especially from small-minded folks who always assume that you're only doing things for attention and the "oooh-aaah" factor.

Am I childish?

Yes. I have a good penchant for childish behavior.

If you don't belive me, ask my wife. She'll be the first to tell you this, I'm sure.

Is it childish to stand up for someone else?

I don't think so.

Is it really childish to stand up for your rights?

Absolutely not.

So there's the gist of my argument.

I'm standing up for rights. I'm not playing favorites, I'm not trying to be the hero. I'm just standing up for what I truly believe is right.

Will I get attacked for this?

As you can probably see already, I have.

What you can't see are the attacks going on behind the blog. The emails, the name calling, and the disgusted sighs I get.. Even from my wife.

I'm sure that the main reason my wife is against this tirade of mine is because she's assuming that I'm defending Dana.

Well, in a way I am, but to me it's really quite more than that.

I'm standing up for the rights a priviledges of ALL people that blog and write. You shouldn't have to make a personal page private just to be able to talk about your family life. You have the choice to write WHATEVER you feel needs to be said. Sure, if you're going to use folks in your blog then you should use permission before naming someone. However, there are times when I feel that you should be justified in your use of names no matter WHAT their opinion is.

This is one of those times.

I actually like Doggybloggy's site. The food really does look good, and he approaches this with an obvious love for what he's writing about.

That still doesn't give him the right to wander onto someone else's page, and spout vile and nasty words and abusive language to other bloggers.

Snugs is a different matter.

She's a follower, and one with a personal axe to grind against Dana.

Because of this, I could really care less about whatever it is she has to say. She assumes that things are "private" yet then drops onto a public blog to air this dirty laundry. She claims that she doesn't want to write a blog, because it's not a priority in her life. Yet this very same person haunts more blogs than I do, and has time to comment on them all. So writing a blog, not important, reading and commenting on them, very important. She also claims that she doesn't want to drag her family life into her blog. Not every blog I read deals with family issues. Some (like doggy's) deal with hobbies. Others include memories. Still others deal with things they find humorous in the news and outside influences.

Yes, many blogs tend to incluse family life in them. Why? It's simple. When you write, you tend to deal with the things you interact with the most, and that give you inspiration. My family does that, because I tend to spend the most time with them outside of work. Yet this doesn't mean that I keep on talking about them day in and day out.

Mostly I write about MYSELF. My work. My life. My perceptions. My feelings. My rights. Me, Me, Me, ME.

Do you see a pattern here?

The rants I took even revolved around ME.

My personal vendetta. My response and actions. My comments.

Hrm. So if I'm defending someone else, why is this still about me?

Think about that one for a second, and get back to me tomorrow.

Back, and with a new perspective!

Well, it's been a while since I've posted, and I'm not sure really where to begin here.

Things seem to be better at the house. We're not fighting, but yet there still seems to be a bit of tension running just under the surface. I don't know if this is just me, and I'm fooling myself, yet it really does feel like I'm playing with a tripwire I can't see, and the bomb it's connected to could go off at any moment.

However, until such time, I'll be willing to make things seem normal and stable if only for the sake of the kids, who were concerned about where things were going.

I'm also trying to see if taking more time to focus on my wife will help matters. Maybe I've been too self-absorbed, and haven't been spending enough time with her and tending to her needs.. Maybe we need to have personal getaway time each time the kids are at their mom's for the weekend.. Maybe I should focus more on what I love about her, instead of the things that irritate me..

Speaking of that, let me ask you all something.

As men, do you often wonder why ladies will complain about the things you do (and especially the things you DON'T do) when they get together? My wife and her two close girlfriends watch TV shows at our place on Tuesdays and Wednesdays on most weeks, and even though they try to be quiet, some of the conversation can be easily overheard, and I can hear them talk about such things. How he's doing this, and it bothers them. Or he's NOT doing this, and he really should. Why can't he do this, like she's seen other guys do? Et Cetera..

When I've been out with my guy friends, we will sometimes talk about our wives, but for the most part we avoid this. Why? Because we want to have a good time, and not have something possibly get back to the wife that we'll have to pay for later. Plain, simple, easy.

Ladies: Why do you feel the need to complain or compare your significant other to people? Why is it that just being a person isn't good enough? Are there times where you feel they just won't listen, and so talking about personal things with friends is going to better or help the situation?

Heh. Listen to me here. I'm complaining and asking for information from interweb folks about a subject that really kind of strikes me as being a bit oxymoronic...

Let's just say that I don't understand the need for comparison or complaint.

Yeah, there are times when I've found myself comparing my wife to other people. However, when I _do_ find myself doing this, I stop. I prefer to take my wife at face value. I appreciate the things she does, and I love her for the person she is, not the person she could become.

How about all of you? What are your thoughts?

My first Award!!

Veronica, at Another Suburban Housewife, gave me an award while I was out on vacation.

I'm actually quite stunned, because I feel that there are so many blogs out there that are so much more worthy than mine, all I do is write down the silly and interesting things I have happen to me, and for some reason, folks seem to like it.

There are apparently rules with this award, and they are as follows:

1. Have to post the fabulous Logo (as seen above)

2. Nominate some folks for their blogs.

3. Have to hyper link your nominees.

4. You must tell your nominee that they WON! Hello? How would they know if you didn't comment on their blog.

5. Finally Hyperlink the blogger who gave you such a wonderful gift.

Pretty easy, except that I'm going to have to figure out how to add the stinking logo.. Arrgh!

Ok, nominees...

I nominate Real Live Lesbian, mainly for the fact that she's always an interesting read.

I also am going to nominate my wife, Gottaluvme3, as she's my inspiration for nearly everything that I write.

ASM stole Dana from Amid Life's Crisis, so I'm going to go with Bee, from Bee's Musings

And lastly, I'm going to nominate Brad, from Diaries of the Professor.

Hope that satisfies everyone...

Now.. on to the fun..

Day three of vacation..

TO be honest, we were BEAT. Two days of non-stop walking, fighting with crowds, and just being in a hurry to get things done. It was time for a break.

The nice thing about having a long time to enjoy a vacation is the fact that you can pick and choose your timetable. For our day of rest, it decided to rain in the normally sunny Southern California, so we took the day off to recoup, and just take some time for family.

We played games, slept in, went down and played pool and ping-pong in the recreation room at our hotel, and basically took it easy.

The adults sat around for a while and discussed options for the rest of the week, and we planned out what days we'd be having lunches or dinners at the hotel, and what days were going to be spent dishing out cash for lavish treatment.

The decision was made to travel to Universal Studios the following day, and spend the entire day there. Then the following two days could be utilized to play around again at Disneyland and California Adventure. Everyone agreed with this decision, and ideas were tossed around. One was to spend the first day back to Disneyland early, and have a "Character Breakfast" with some of the Disney Characters making visits to your table while you ate. This was a great idea, and the younger two of my kids adored this idea.

So we went grocery shopping to get food for the times we'd spend in the room, some extra snacks and such for the parks, and then we watched a bit of TV, had some dinner, and played a few more games before calling it a night, and crashing in order to get ready for the next day of fun.. Except for the nasty LA traffic, that is!

Universal Studios Tour is tomorrow.. Don't miss it!!

Happy Birthday to M.... Meh. I've got bitching to do!

Yeah, it's my birthday, but that's not what I want to write about, so here's my rant!


This last weekend, I got unloaded on for things to do around the house.

Normally, I don't mind much, because I kinda like working on the house, and getting things done and improved.

However, this weekend wasn't like most that involve home projects.

Last week, my wife decided that because of the falling interest rates we needed to refinance the house, and see about consolidating all of our debt. I was in agreement, and she went to the bank.

However, in order for this process to go through, a new assessment of our house needs to be done in order to get a proper value of the home before basing the payments.

Now, we've done a TON of work to this house. However, there aren't many projects that have been completed. Yeah, you know how this works...

First, you start a project, and you get the big stuff done. After seeing the major change, you think "I'll come back to this later, and put the finishing touches on it, because there are other jobs that need to get done now" type of thing.

Exactly.

Now, I have to be honest. I'm great at putting things off that I don't want to do. I can find all sorts of reasons NOT to do a job. But there have also been times when I have noticed a "hanging" job, and commented that we need to get the stuff so I can finish it as well... Those have been the times when my wife has been willing to put it off.

Not so this weekend.

We made a trip out to Lowe's, and I watched my next month's worth of weekends get tossed out in favor of doing the "finishing touches" on all of the projects we've neglected.

My father-in-law was with us, and he made some kind of snide comment to my wife about how she wasn't going to be able to get out of helping with the jobs.

She replied to him "This is guy's work. I don't have to help. I do the woman's jobs around the house, this one is his responsibility."

Yeah. That's stuck with me and been REALLY irritating this weekend.

I have tried to keep any kind of sexism from this relationship. I've been more than willing to let her have her space and time alone, and I've been willing to do the jobs that need to be done around the house.

After the comment I got this weekend?

Not so much.

Here's why:

Define "man's work" and "women's work" for me.

If you're going to tell me that a woman's work is stuff around the house, then she owes me a TON of time doing some "man's work" because I've filled in when she hasn't pulled her weight. Dishes? Laundry? Vacuuming? Dusting? Cleaning?

I'd define all of the above as "woman's work" since they're jobs inside of the house, wouldn't you?

As for "man's work".. Fixing, repairing, yardwork.. Isn't that considered "my" stuff to do?

She's not helped much at all with my "man" jobs compared to the things I've helped her with. Yet I've decided now to bitch about them...

Here's the catch, and why I was good with things until she opened her mouth.

"Woman's work" is things that need to be done daily. There's not some weekly plan you can get into action that is going to effectively take care of all of the household chores that need to be completed. Thus, I pitch in and help where needed. I mean, I don't really like sitting around on my ass all day, and if I can help her in the process, then it's a win-win situation for me, right?

With the "man's work", it's weekly stuff. Yardwork. Cut the grass. Trim the hedges, rake the gravel back onto the drive.. That doesn't need to be done daily, and can wait to be done. Repairs aren't frequent, and they do take time when they need to get done, but they in no way really balance out for the daily house chores.

Yet if this is how she's going to treat my work on the house, I'm willing to be an ass, and give her exactly what she called for.

Case in point:

I did the last load of dishes that were in the sink, and then put them in the dishwasher yesterday. Last night, I made dinner, and I left the dirty dishes in the sink. After all, dishes are "women's work", and since I'm doing "man's work" she needs to come home and get caught up!

Yeah, she worked last night, and I could have done them. But since I am going to be working for 10 hours today, and then coming home to start more repair work, I think the account balance here is fairly even.


Here's another thing that annoys me about our Home Improvement.

I can't do all of the jobs. I don't know how to install doors, re-wire electrical outlets, do plumbing, or major changes to a house exterior.

However, she has friends who do.

The worst part about this? I WANT to learn how to do these things. Yet when she gets friends over to help get a job done (such as installing a door) I tend to feel like a fifth wheel, and keep getting in the way. The person helping gets frustrated because they just want to get someone else's job done so they can get back to THEIR work, and everyone gets a bit on edge...

Never a happy moment there, to be honest.

So, I've got some projects lined up to be done. How they're going to get done is beyond me at the moment, but they'll get done.

I'm sure I'll be back on in later days to complain about something or other with this newest repair gig, so keep reading!

Happy Tuesday everyone.

More talk about relationships!

Yeah, I haven't talked about the guy/girl phenomenon for a couple of weeks, so I'll get right back to my endless rant.


Here's something that completely confuses me, and I kind of want some feedback on it.

I'm going to give you a personal account of something that's happening in my household, and things that you might do to resolve it, ok?

I'm terrible, and I do mean TERRIBLE with money. Sure, there are times where I can save up enough when it's a short-term goal. But budgeting and keeping to it? Nah, not so much.

My wife, on the other hand, is a budgeting genius. She can plot and plan each payment out to the last penny before even glancing at the checkbook balance.

As I've posted in my profile, we're getting ready to take my kids to Disneyland here next month. Because of this, we really need to save up some cash to take along with.

I remind the wife, she nods. I trust it will get done. She's the budgeting wizard, after all!

Um.. It hasn't happened yet.

Now we're by no means hurting in the paycheck department. We both make enough to comfortably live. Yet with the slow economy, sales have dropped, so work at my warehouse is thinning. This cuts back on the overtime I could count on, as well as giving me opportunities to leave early. Yeah, I know I shouldn't take them (and I've been good lately about staying!) but when there's a chance of getting out of here with my sanity somewhat intact for the day, I jump at it before it gets a chance to make a break for it!

Still, even with these issues, we make enough to more than cover our bills, and stay well off.

Where does the cash go?

Do I take into account the need for replacing clothes the kids wear out?

Probably not.

How about the sundries like dishwashing detergent and such?

More than likely, no.

So where do I get off complaining about this?

Maybe it's the fact that even though I completely SUCK at budgeting, I'd still like to be kept involved in our family's finances. To know where the money's going. To know how much (or how little) we do (or don't) have.

Is that asking too much?

I didn't forget you all!!

Yeah, I'm late in posting today.

It's been a weird and hectic week for me for some reason.

First, there's the whole thing about getting my little car into the repair shop..

Then, there's the added hassle of learning the quirks of a different car. Namely, a Jeep with an attitude that totally clashes with me.

Add to this the fun of severe snow and rainstorms, with a dash of flooding tossed in just to keep things interesting..

And finally, have some of my corporate bosses show up to audit and do their fiscal year-end inspections, and things get CRAZY.

Yeah. Lots of interesting stuff going on..

At least the rain's stopped for now, and the water levels can drop some. I'm lucky. I live on a hill, so even though I get more snow than others, I don't really have to worry much about flooding.

If my place floods, then I better be looking for the replacement for Noah, because about 70% of the Earth's surface is going to be under!

My folks know that if they need to get out there's a place here for them. (I haven't told my wife that yet, but seeing as she reads this, she will now! Love you honey!)

I have never really seen much hospitality this last Christmas season. Yet when you toss in a flood? Folks tend to open up doors just to help those who used to have shelter keep warm and dry.

Yeah, the Christmas spirit might have been missing on the due date, but it did show up, just fashionably late in my area!

You can always tell the good folks by how they react in stressful and serious situations.

Those that step up and take charge and responsibility are those you know you can rely on to help out in your time of need. They are the ones who might be quiet and reserved, but will give you the shirt off their back if you're in serious need.

I tend to be one of those kind of people. Yeah, I talk and blather about all sorts of things on here. But since this isn't a face-to-face kind of confrontation, and I don't have to look into anyone's eyes, I tend to say what's on my mind with no thought to consequences.

In person? I'll talk and chit-chat. However, I don't really say much about myself, and keep mostly reserved.

How I'm able to do this, I really don't know. I talk and talk and TALK about absolutely NOTHING at all, and can still keep folks interested and engaged, yet reveal nearly nothing about myself, and still keep my caring personality well hidden..

My wife hates it.

It made me very effective as a DJ and Karaoke host, since I could make each and every person feel like they were the star of the show, while I personally couldn't stand about 85% of the stuff that was going on!

Anyway, I'm thankful for this clearing in the weather. The ground and myself can dry out a bit, take a breath, and prepare for the next big one, since this is the time of year for nasty weather.

How about all of you?

Anything you're really looking forward to at the start of this new year?

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Yeah, I wrote the date out today..

Why, you ask?

Because I wanted to make sure that my wife took note.

You'll see the reasoning as you keep reading.


I went back, and looked over my archived posts, and things I've written and said about my marriage, my wife, and my family life.

Do you know that I have complained more than I've complimented my wife since starting this endeavor?

I don't know why that is, it just turned that way on me.

So, in order to alleviate this problem, I've taken it upon myself to build her up here on my blog as well as at home.

Thus, I'm starting today.. If only to get a jump on the New-Year's resolutions that everyone seems to put off doing!

My wife is a wonderful mother, not only to my kids, but to those she watches for friends and family as well. She cares, and has a HUGE heart for children of all ages.

My wife is awesome with numbers. What I have to take time to figure (and usually get wrong!) she can do in mere seconds, and be correct! This is one major reason why I have her keep the checkbook, because she's able to juggle those numbers around much better than I ever could.

My loving spouse is a very vital and outgoing person. She tries to make friends with everyone she meets, and attempts to get each person to participate in activities if possible. (even when some of us don't want to deal with another!)

My wife is great at the attention to detail. I don't know how she does it (must be a girl thing!), but she's able to tell if the floor has really been vacuumed, or if it's just bee the cursory swipe and duck kind of job. To be honest, I don't think I could ever have the patience to "deep clean" the way she likes to..

These are just a few of the things I love about my spouse. I can't tell you them all, because then I'd have nothing left to write about the next time except to repeat them, and that's boring!


I don't know why it is that I fail to mention the "little" things to her. For most women, the BIG stuff is nice, but to hear the everyday "Thank you for being you" kind of things really pay off more.

I tend to get fixated on the major issues, and harp and nag when something doesn't tend to go my way or happen the way I planned. She doesn't deserve the ire I send to her, it just winds up going that way.

For the most part, I've made the consious attempt to keep my frustrations that I deal with at work well apart from my home life. If things go really badly at work, I'll call ahead, and let her know that I'm going to be needing some "down-time" before dealing with family stuff. This is nice, but it isn't always feasible or practical. Sometimes it works, but more often than not, life just doesn't allow for the slow-down period.

To be honest with you, my readers, I feel that my greatest failing as a husband is that of apathy.

How?

Because if it isn't broke, I don't mess with it. If it works, use it until it breaks.

Not only with mechanical things, but with the relationship as well.

This leads to MAJOR problems.

There are things that I can do that really bother my wife. I've spoken of them in earlier posts.

However, because of her loving and giving nature, she tends to keep her complaints in check, hoping that I'll see the things I'm doing wrong, and change.

However, because I don't hear of any problem or issue, I contend that there's no problem, and I keep up with the action that bothers her.

Yeah, you can see where this is going, can't you?

It boils over, and explodes. And then I rant and rave to my readers here on my blog, which bothers her yet again when she's painted out to be the "bad guy".

Now, there are some of you who have dealt with her, and can honestly say that she's very judgemental. I'd have to agree with you.

However, you must also understand that it's because of that ability of hers to judge that I'm still with her today.

I'm not going to elaborate on that any more, it's something I prefer to keep to myself.

So I now declare to you all (all 2 or so who read this!) that I dearly love my wife, and I resolve to state this at least once a month, if not more from now on.

Please, remind me from time to time, as I tend to forget things, and can use all the help I can get!

Happy New Year people, and the best to you all!